Register For Tour Updates

* indicates required
Email Format

New Album!

Available digitally on Amazon & Amazon UK

Also available digitally, instantly:



Stay Tuned!


This page used to be just for “trolling” posts, i.e., going into newsgroups online and starting shit for no particular reason other than to be funny. It was fun but it was kind of a pain in the ass. Then I stumbled across a site called What these motherfuckers were doing is going on AOL Instant Messenger posing as 13-year-old girls. They would then get pedophiles looking for cybersex and fuck with them unmercifully. It’s the funniest thing on the web. After contacting them, I was invited to try a few baits of my own. Not only is it fun as hell, but it’s a hell of a lot easier than trolling. So, with the consent of the folks at baiting, I ripped them off and put some of my own baits up here. Keep in mind, my stuff doesn’t hold a candle to theirs, so be sure to stop by their site too. Enjoy.

PS. Most of these are vulgar, many are racist, blasphemous, and sexist. Before you get all shitty about it, remember - these people are pedophiles, stupid! They are supposed to be offended. Several of them mention wet, runny poop. Why? Cuz poop always makes me laugh.




Doug is "PorkPipeAnnie"


funguy028: sound fun..i am 28,m

PorkPipeAnnie: Mmmmmm.

funguy028: got apic?

PorkPipeAnnie: Nope:-(.

funguy028: home alone and honry?

PorkPipeAnnie: And how!

PorkPipeAnnie: Hello?

funguy028: ??

PorkPipeAnnie: So, what are you into?

PorkPipeAnnie: sorry, got bumped.

funguy028: and now i g2g..unless you into a quick phone?

PorkPipeAnnie: Nope, I'm afraid I can't.

PorkPipeAnnie: My Mom is right outside the door and if she heard me talking she'd burn me with scalding water again.

PorkPipeAnnie: But help me jack off real quick b4 you go.

PorkPipeAnnie: Hey, c'mon. Help a brother out.

PorkPipeAnnie: Don't be a dick.

funguy028: my turn to crash

PorkPipeAnnie: Whu???

funguy028: so what d oyou think babe?..your 14 you pussy need some of my 28yo cock?

PorkPipeAnnie: Help me jack off first.

funguy028: want me to call you?

PorkPipeAnnie: Heck Ya!

funguy028: i have pheon card right here..

PorkPipeAnnie: Whats your number?

funguy028: give me yours...

funguy028: will call right now

PorkPipeAnnie: No, you give me yours. I cant give out mine. My Mom would answer.

funguy028: how you gonna call me though..i am in my office alone

PorkPipeAnnie: I can call from my room but if it rang she'd pick it up.

PorkPipeAnnie: And you have to be nice with me.

funguy028: but it will show up your your bill?

funguy028: nice how?...don't you want to hear me stroke my cock?

PorkPipeAnnie: Thats ok, they never notice. My brother is always making calls all over the country.

PorkPipeAnnie: Yes, I wanna hear you stroke it, silly.

PorkPipeAnnie: I just meant don't be all rude and stupid like some guys get.

PorkPipeAnnie: One time I gave out my number and the guy called in the middle of the night saying he was gonna cut off my head.

funguy028: would never do that..only call ifwe meet here first..i swear

funguy028: not into that shit

funguy028: my cock is throbbing...

PorkPipeAnnie: Ok. Well, what's your number?

funguy028: is your pussy bald baby?

PorkPipeAnnie: Yep.

PorkPipeAnnie: Lets do most of it here and then I can call to hear you come on me.

PorkPipeAnnie: I love come.

PorkPipeAnnie: It's soooooo great.

PorkPipeAnnie: To know I made a guy do that is hot.

PorkPipeAnnie: How big is your cock?

PorkPipeAnnie: Hello?

funguy028: sorry crashed again

funguy028: i am dying to lick a bald wet pussy babe

PorkPipeAnnie: Well I got bald pussy all day, motherfucker!:-P

funguy028: oh ya

funguy028: so can i call you right now and cum in your ear?

funguy028: you like it doggie style ?..anal?..what?

PorkPipeAnnie: No, I told you I can call you but thats it.

PorkPipeAnnie: If you wanna just do it here, it's ok too.

funguy028: can you call righ tnow?

funguy028: only for a minute though...

funguy028: i am also ready to cum

PorkPipeAnnie: K

PorkPipeAnnie: Me too.

PorkPipeAnnie: Lets come on the phone together.

funguy028: you cool going thru reception?..cuz i am at work in my office

PorkPipeAnnie: Sure.

funguy028: please throw out # after you call too though ok?

PorkPipeAnnie: It'll be real quick though.

PorkPipeAnnie: k

funguy028: i am only here for the day...temp

PorkPipeAnnie: k

funguy028: what is your name?

PorkPipeAnnie: Oh my pussy is soooo wet!

PorkPipeAnnie: Annie, dummy!

funguy028: lol

funguy028: do you have to go offline to call?

PorkPipeAnnie: I have my brothers cell phone and he has unlimited long distance.

funguy028: why can't i call your cell phone then?

PorkPipeAnnie: Hurry up, I wanna come so bad.

PorkPipeAnnie: Cuz it will ring silly!

funguy028: ***-***-**** ask for extension 239 (number omitted for privacy reasons)

PorkPipeAnnie: And my Mom will answer it!

PorkPipeAnnie: k

funguy028: tell me when it is ringing

PorkPipeAnnie: Where is that/

PorkPipeAnnie: ?

funguy028: if i don't hear from you in a few minutes i have to go

funguy028: toronto canada

PorkPipeAnnie: Tell me what you are doing to me.

PorkPipeAnnie: I want you to be ready to come when I get you on the phone.

PorkPipeAnnie: Do you like 13 yr old bald pussy, baby?

funguy028: i wnat you to squat your pussy on my face and let me slide my tongue in your juicy pussy

funguy028: call nw cuz i have to leave in a min

funguy028: you calling?

PorkPipeAnnie: Oh ya!

PorkPipeAnnie: C'mon get it, pedophile!


PorkPipeAnnie: How about that/

funguy028: excuse me? got me

PorkPipeAnnie: Did you come when you heard my pretty little voice?

funguy028: lmao

PorkPipeAnnie: You just lost your job, my friend.

funguy028: your right i just did

funguy028: the guy you talked to just fired me...

PorkPipeAnnie: And your ISP will be contacted.

funguy028: sorry?

PorkPipeAnnie: And this whole log will be posted at

funguy028: why you doing this to me?

PorkPipeAnnie: Becasue you are a rotten pedophile who tries to fuck 13 year old girls.

PorkPipeAnnie: And you will now wear the scarlet letter of the child molester.

PorkPipeAnnie: Odd how a little thing like this could ruin your whole life, huh?

funguy028: thanks..but i am not a child molester....and i don't know who you talked to

PorkPipeAnnie: Anything you'd like to say in your own defense before we, the powers that be, pass judgement?

funguy028: only that this is all a sham..i am not what you are saying at all...

funguy028: and I really did just lose my job

funguy028: i have to go now

PorkPipeAnnie: Pack your things.

funguy028: good bye

PorkPipeAnnie: Buh-bye.

funguy028: sorry you feel you have to ruin ppl

PorkPipeAnnie: Sorry you have to get little girls to get you off.


Previous message was not received by funguy028 because of error: User funguy028 is not available.


PorkPipeAnnie: I told whoever answered the phone at his office what he was doing and I believe he really did lose his job. Oops.

Previous message was not received by funguy028 because of error: User funguy028 is not available.



Donkey Show


Doug is "ToolMySweetAss"


WildOne44231: hey

ToolMySweetAss: Fuck off.

WildOne44231: ok

ToolMySweetAss: There?

WildOne44231: yea

ToolMySweetAss: Whats so wild about you?

WildOne44231: i have a 10 inch cock

ToolMySweetAss: Not really wild if you don't

do anything cool with it.

WildOne44231: and i like using it on little girls

ToolMySweetAss: How little?

ToolMySweetAss: I'm pretty little!

WildOne44231: yea how old

ToolMySweetAss: 13

WildOne44231: ooo

WildOne44231: id like that

ToolMySweetAss: How old r u?

WildOne44231: 21

WildOne44231: 22 june 12

ToolMySweetAss: gemini rocks!

WildOne44231: hellz yea

ToolMySweetAss: I was raped once by a gemini!

WildOne44231: o really

ToolMySweetAss: He could decide between my mouth and ass.

ToolMySweetAss: couldn't*

ToolMySweetAss: Thats the scales for you.

WildOne44231: how good r u at sucking

ToolMySweetAss: Anyhoo, what r u into?

ToolMySweetAss: Oh, I am good!

WildOne44231: surfing women clubbing

ToolMySweetAss: I once had to suck my way out of a Mexican bar brawl.

WildOne44231: ooooo

WildOne44231: how was it?

ToolMySweetAss: The donkey died of a heart attack between shows and Joaquin refused to return anyones money.

WildOne44231: aww

ToolMySweetAss: The next thing you know, chairs are flying, bottles are breaking and I'm sucking anyones dick that has a gun.

WildOne44231: u have any pics?

ToolMySweetAss: Nope, confiscated my the state when my dad finally got busted.

WildOne44231: oooo

ToolMySweetAss: I have a sketch I could mail to you though. Got a PO box?

WildOne44231: yea

WildOne44231: email u mean?

ToolMySweetAss: No, I just drew it on a bar nap and was gonna mail it to you. It looks exactly like my real pussy.

ToolMySweetAss: I'm quite an artist.

WildOne44231: oo

ToolMySweetAss: I can trace my hand.

ToolMySweetAss: Tell me about yourself, Nigger.

ToolMySweetAss: Hello?



Previous message was not received by

WildOne44231 because of error: User

WildOne44231 is not available.



ToolMySweetAss: Oops, I meant it in the "Nigga" sense of the word. Testy pedophile.


Previous message was not received by

WildOne44231 because of error: User

WildOne44231 is not available.



Dirty Nazi


Doug is "PorkPipeAnnie"


DMUSTAINEM: hey baby

PorkPipeAnnie: Hold on a minute, spagetti-dick.

PorkPipeAnnie: Alright, I'm back.

DMUSTAINEM: where the hell were ya, annie?

PorkPipeAnnie: I had to take a shit.

DMUSTAINEM: how did it cum out? did you wipe front to back?

PorkPipeAnnie: I was cybering with some old guy who made me put a blowdryer nozzle up my ass and I shit all over the ottoman in the living room.

DMUSTAINEM: did you touch yourself while you did it?

PorkPipeAnnie: I tried but it hurt like a sonofagun.

DMUSTAINEM: ouch, annie

DMUSTAINEM: do you have a pic to show me, annie?

PorkPipeAnnie: Like you never put something in your ass under the guidance of an elder.

PorkPipeAnnie: No. No pic.

PorkPipeAnnie: You?

DMUSTAINEM: i did it got erased, compliments of a friend

DMUSTAINEM: whats your age?

PorkPipeAnnie: Why do you keep repeating my name, what are you a fucking Scientologist?

PorkPipeAnnie: 13- 14 on sunday.

DMUSTAINEM: nope, just making it personal

DMUSTAINEM: fuck scientology

DMUSTAINEM: so you like anal?

PorkPipeAnnie: Not with household appliances. But with a little dick, sure.


DMUSTAINEM: doyou masturbate often?

PorkPipeAnnie: Is that your kink, Musty? Anal?

DMUSTAINEM: sometimes, depends on the mood

PorkPipeAnnie: Or the dinner.


PorkPipeAnnie: Mexican or curry rules out poopchute love immediately.

DMUSTAINEM: this is very true, porky

PorkPipeAnnie: porky?

DMUSTAINEM: tell me about something very sexual you did recently

DMUSTAINEM: have you ever fingered another girl?

DMUSTAINEM: or vice versa?

PorkPipeAnnie: Fisted a bag lady once on a dare.

PorkPipeAnnie: Found out later she was dead.

DMUSTAINEM: yeah, ok

PorkPipeAnnie: Wodered why she didn't wake up.

PorkPipeAnnie: Wondered*

PorkPipeAnnie: No shit.

DMUSTAINEM: what about any lesbian experiences?

PorkPipeAnnie: Sure, a few. But I like cock.

DMUSTAINEM: i have a cock

DMUSTAINEM: you like to have your ass licked?

PorkPipeAnnie: No, but I love to lick ass.

DMUSTAINEM: you would lick my asshole?

PorkPipeAnnie: How old are you?


PorkPipeAnnie: Ok, then, I guess I'll lick your asshole. Whats the address?


PorkPipeAnnie: Or should we meet somewhere.

DMUSTAINEM: where are you from?

PorkPipeAnnie: Oh, you mean cyber?

PorkPipeAnnie: NV

PorkPipeAnnie: Vegas.

PorkPipeAnnie: Tell me what you are doing to yourself.

DMUSTAINEM: what are you doing?

DMUSTAINEM: nothin yet


PorkPipeAnnie: I have a carrot in my pussy.

PorkPipeAnnie: Now I just need a bunny.

DMUSTAINEM: are you shoving it in and out?


PorkPipeAnnie: Yep

DMUSTAINEM: to lick you?

DMUSTAINEM: slide it into your ass

PorkPipeAnnie: I told you, I'm all shitty down there.

DMUSTAINEM: ok, for now

PorkPipeAnnie: Do you still want me to?

PorkPipeAnnie: It hurts real bad.

DMUSTAINEM: not if you dont want to

DMUSTAINEM: nah, dont hurt yourself

PorkPipeAnnie: That blowdryer was a bad idea.

DMUSTAINEM: yeah it was

PorkPipeAnnie: Hey, I got an idea!

DMUSTAINEM: what is it?\

PorkPipeAnnie: Would you piss in my face?

PorkPipeAnnie: And call me a cunt?

DMUSTAINEM: that would be cool, do you like golden showers

PorkPipeAnnie: or whore, however you like.

DMUSTAINEM: does that turn you on?

PorkPipeAnnie: Bow Howdy!

PorkPipeAnnie: Boy*

DMUSTAINEM: yeah, you like being treated like a whore

PorkPipeAnnie: Yes, what woman doesn't!

DMUSTAINEM: my ex, lol

PorkPipeAnnie: Call me a whore!

DMUSTAINEM: annie, you are such a fuckin cunt

PorkPipeAnnie: Oooooh.

PorkPipeAnnie: No slap my face.

DMUSTAINEM: you fuckin whore

PorkPipeAnnie: Now*

DMUSTAINEM: bend over bitch

DMUSTAINEM: spread those legs

PorkPipeAnnie: Now punch me in the ass!

DMUSTAINEM: pull apart your ass cheeks

DMUSTAINEM: show me your holes

PorkPipeAnnie: Now push me down on the ground!

DMUSTAINEM: i'll slap you with my cock in your face

DMUSTAINEM: fuck that carrot

PorkPipeAnnie: Now stand on the side of my head and with the other foot start kicking in my face as hard as you can with steel-toe boots until my whole head collapses like an over-ripe melon under a truck tire!

PorkPipeAnnie: Oooooh!

DMUSTAINEM: uh, sure

PorkPipeAnnie: Take off the boot and runs your toes through the soft wet warmth of my oozing brains.

PorkPipeAnnie: Reach into my mouth like a dirty Nazi and pull out a gold filling, placing it in your watch pocket as a souvenier.

PorkPipeAnnie: Reach into my pants and feel the last pulse of blood surge through my still-hard cock as ejaculate spills out of my corpse onto your gloved hand.

PorkPipeAnnie: Kiss me one the forehead and whisper "I love you".



Dead Baby


Doug is "ToolMySweetAss"


cock8in69: hey there cutie!

ToolMySweetAss: Hi!

cock8in69: a/s/l

cock8in69: 20/m/neb

ToolMySweetAss: Great. Hold on, I'm cybering Marv Albert in another box.

cock8in69: ok...a/s/l

ToolMySweetAss: Read my profile while you wait.

cock8in69: mmm, you sound almost too good to be true

ToolMySweetAss: Where in Nebraska?

cock8in69: lincoln

ToolMySweetAss: Wow. Do you fuck sheep and all that?

cock8in69: not usually

cock8in69: once in awhile

cock8in69: anyways

cock8in69: do you have a pic?

cock8in69 wants to directly connect.

cock8in69 is now directly connected.

cock8in69: you got one/

ToolMySweetAss: You look like a mass murderer. Ever kill a guy?

cock8in69: not yet, but i might in a kinky sex situation

ToolMySweetAss: i mean, seriously. You are 6 kinds of ugly right there.

cock8in69: wow

cock8in69: do you have apic then ms pretty face?

ToolMySweetAss: You'd kill a guy during sex to make me happy?

ToolMySweetAss: No pic. Not yet. I wanna come first.

ToolMySweetAss: Tell me how you'd do it.

cock8in69: you just want me to do all the work, dont you?

ToolMySweetAss: Heck no. I'll rock your little cock world.

ToolMySweetAss: I just want to know how you'd kill a guy while we were fucking.

cock8in69: well, i am suer you have a lot of other lovers

cock8in69: and when one catches you screaming my name, he is going to be angry, and will come after me with a kitchen knife

ToolMySweetAss: Oooooh.

ToolMySweetAss: Kitchen knife.

ToolMySweetAss: Mmmmmmmm.

ToolMySweetAss: Then what?

cock8in69: well, i would keep on pounding you, but a little slower, while i turn the knife around on him, and stab him deep through the chest

ToolMySweetAss: Ooooooooh yeeeees!

ToolMySweetAss: I want you to keep fucking me from behind while I reach into his chest and pull out his heart.

cock8in69: yeah pounding and pounding

ToolMySweetAss: Violate my ass with your tiny cock as I take a large bite out of his heart and smear his blood on my face.

cock8in69: mmm, i keep on pounding your tightlittle hole, and you realize that you were just screwing this guy an hour earlier

ToolMySweetAss: I want you to cut off his cock and use it on my pussy while you tool my skunk-hole.

ToolMySweetAss: We cut off his scrotundrum and drink his eggs like tequila shots.

ToolMySweetAss: Tell me what his nuts taste like.

cock8in69: ahhh, nice and salty, like sweet juices

cock8in69: but his limp old cock is not doing much in your pussy

ToolMySweetAss: I want it to rot in there and then slowly ooze out of the next weeks and months.

cock8in69: i curled it up, and it is just stuck in there

ToolMySweetAss: Lets go through his wallet!

cock8in69: mm, you are a kinky girl, then you cant have your pussy ravaged

cock8in69: what do you find in tehre?

ToolMySweetAss: Wow there's a drivers liscence with his address and a picture of his newborn baby!

ToolMySweetAss: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

cock8in69: definately, ill go bring up the car

cock8in69: i run off, zipping myself back up as i go, and pull the car up adn wait for you

ToolMySweetAss: We speed off to his house, mallets in hand.

cock8in69: i ask to see his cock curled in yoru pussy again

ToolMySweetAss: No time for that now! We have babies to smash!

ToolMySweetAss: We crash through the guys door

ToolMySweetAss: His wife is terrified!

cock8in69: oh shit, ill take her

ToolMySweetAss: She clutches the newborn to her breast!

ToolMySweetAss: I tear the baby from her hands and you cut off her head.

cock8in69: i tear the baby from her and toss it to you

ToolMySweetAss: Either way.

ToolMySweetAss: So now it's just you, me and baby makes three.

cock8in69: then i tell her about her husband, and i force her on the ground

cock8in69: we got her too

cock8in69: lets put her husbands cock inside her pussy

cock8in69: give the cock to me i ask

ToolMySweetAss: No, I want it to rot in me til the neighbors complain about the stench.

ToolMySweetAss: Besides, I want her dead.

ToolMySweetAss: Kill her for me and use some imagination, sexy!

cock8in69: i tie her down on the floor, and i stand above her and pinch her nose

cock8in69: then i stick my cock into her mouth and hold it all the way down until she suffocates and passes out

ToolMySweetAss: Rock on with your bad self!

cock8in69: i thrust into her a few times for good measure, then stand up and say "victorious

cock8in69: what should we do now i ask?

cock8in69: i push you against the wall "what do we do now?"

ToolMySweetAss: You know...

ToolMySweetAss: We have to smash the baby!

cock8in69: lay it on the ground

ToolMySweetAss: I want you to fuck it first so I can whack off watching.

ToolMySweetAss: Fuck the little baby!

ToolMySweetAss: Fuck it til it explodes!

cock8in69: i lay down on my back, and pull it down hard onto my cock, and begin to pull it up and down, ramming into its little hole

ToolMySweetAss: Yeeees!

ToolMySweetAss: Describe the pain it feels.

ToolMySweetAss: I could come any second.

cock8in69: again and again, till the hole expands and begins to bleed all over me

cock8in69: i feel it runnign down my leg

ToolMySweetAss: Oh yes, my cock is hard like pottery.

ToolMySweetAss: Mmmmm.

ToolMySweetAss: I want you now.

cock8in69: so so hard

cock8in69: i feel it pounding all to the back of the baby

ToolMySweetAss: Ok, turn around now!

ToolMySweetAss: Peel your ass cheeks apart.

ToolMySweetAss: I cut off the baby's head and perch it on the head of my cock.

ToolMySweetAss: I tear into your waiting ass with it.

cock8in69: whoa

ToolMySweetAss: Each time my cock goes in your ass, the baby makes a squeeking sound.

ToolMySweetAss: Tickle me, Elmo!

ToolMySweetAss: You like that baby head in your ass while my greying,hangy balls slap off your ass?

ToolMySweetAss: I yank out my dick and jam it in your mouth!

ToolMySweetAss: There's a knock at the door!

ToolMySweetAss: It's your Mother!

ToolMySweetAss: There you are with a bloody, stool-soaked cock in your mouth and picking a baby head out of your ass. What do you say?

ToolMySweetAss: Hey, where'd you go? My pussy is all wet!

cock8in69: sicko

ToolMySweetAss: This fantasy is really groovy!

cock8in69: i am not into having another cock in me though

ToolMySweetAss: Oh, I'm sorry.

cock8in69: oh well

cock8in69: do i get your pic now?

ToolMySweetAss: You're right. I went over the line there. You were fucking a baby until it died and then I had to go ove rthe line and ruin it.

ToolMySweetAss: Sure.

cock8in69 direct connection is closed.

ToolMySweetAss wants to send file Annie's new bikini

ToolMySweetAss: Hello?

ToolMySweetAss: Did you get the pic?

ToolMySweetAss: I got bumped offline.

ToolMySweetAss: Are you ready to fuck my little girl pussy yet?

ToolMySweetAss: Wow



Meth Whore

Doug is "ToolMySweetAss"


spaker68: Hiya Kell,,, you learned how good sex is? ;-)

ToolMySweetAss: Yep!

spaker68: good,, bet you gonna break a lotta hearts

ToolMySweetAss: I already do!

spaker68: lol,,,, ok,, would ya breadk mine too

ToolMySweetAss: How old are you?

spaker68: 41,,, that old enuff

spaker68: done had my share,,, but i still love good sex

ToolMySweetAss: Sweet!

ToolMySweetAss: you've probably done EVERYTHING!

ToolMySweetAss: I wish you could do sumthin new with me!

spaker68: you been enjoying orgasms?

spaker68: hmmm, i wish we could too

spaker68: oh,, i see we both Gemini

spaker68: well, thanks for saying hi,, maybe we could do sumthin new sometime... have fun;-)

ToolMySweetAss: Hold on, shitlips, I'm talking to the cops.

ToolMySweetAss: Still there?

ToolMySweetAss: Hello?

spaker68: yep

spaker68: whats with the cops lol

ToolMySweetAss: My meth dealer was here.

spaker68: never mind,,,, i cna imagine

ToolMySweetAss: Now I gotta go back and sign some papers

spaker68: well, that aint' what i was thinking

ToolMySweetAss: hold on one more


ToolMySweetAss: sorry!

ToolMySweetAss: Wow, I think I got fucked!

spaker68: hmmm, why's that

spaker68: they aren't taking you with them are they

ToolMySweetAss: I brought a half from Jaoquin my dealer and

while i was supposedly getting his money, I called the cops on him.

ToolMySweetAss: No, they aren't...

spaker68: oh hell,,,

ToolMySweetAss: see, when the cops were at the door, he gave me the drugs to hide like i knew he would.

spaker68: so you are gonna get fucked by the dealer now

ToolMySweetAss: I stashed them in a hiding place and he ended up getting busted on an old warrant i knew he had.

spaker68: oh ok

ToolMySweetAss: No i'll say the cops took his drugs after he left.

ToolMySweetAss: Problem is the half weighed light.

spaker68: you are smart

ToolMySweetAss: Hang on, I gotta fix.

ToolMySweetAss: My rig is filthy as fuck.

spaker68: been playing the game for awhile huh

ToolMySweetAss: They gotta start a needle exchange.

ToolMySweetAss: Since I was nine.

spaker68: i only shot up one time in my life

ToolMySweetAss: It's like aldous Huxley said in "Brave New

World" , When people are suspicios with you, you become suspicious of them".

ToolMySweetAss: Oh, its the shit, dude.

spaker68: yep,, thats true

spaker68: i like my homegrown

ToolMySweetAss: So you didn't take well to the spike?

ToolMySweetAss: Oh, pots for nitwits who don't wnna get shit done.

ToolMySweetAss: I like to do stuff.

spaker68: thats about all i do nowadays

ToolMySweetAss: Like pottery.

ToolMySweetAss: For days on end.

spaker68: creative huh

spaker68: thats cool

spaker68: you think the stuff makes ya more creative?

ToolMySweetAss: I made a buttplug once out of soup cans

spaker68: lol,, ok

ToolMySweetAss: My Uncle Sly told me it was derivitive of Warhol.

spaker68: i haven't heard of warhol

spaker68: or forgot it maybe

spaker68: lolo,,,,, the pot will do that

ToolMySweetAss: Andy warhol.

ToolMySweetAss: Where you from, scum?

ToolMySweetAss: (No 'fence, it just rhymed)

spaker68: oh ok,,,, now i got ya

spaker68: GA

spaker68: we get to see the sun come up over the ocean

ToolMySweetAss: Wow, Savannah?

spaker68: ya'll ge to see it go down on the ocean

ToolMySweetAss: I like seeing things go down.

spaker68: prettiest sunset i ever saw was in Mexico on th Pacific

spaker68: like what else you like to see go down

spaker68: lol

spaker68: the meth deal lol

ToolMySweetAss: I saw one once through the crack in the trunk of a 74 Gran Torino after that was left in the desert after a 6 day bender.

ToolMySweetAss: Ya, the meth deal.

ToolMySweetAss: funny.

ToolMySweetAss: I still don't have hair on my cunt and I'm starting to wonder if it's the drugs.

spaker68: 6 dys in the trunk wow

ToolMySweetAss: Our the callouses from the constant vacuuming.

ToolMySweetAss: My cunts seen more vacuum than a Rainbow distributer.

spaker68: my gosh dang girl

ToolMySweetAss: But the ass is virgin.

spaker68: tell me what thats about

spaker68: the vacuum

ToolMySweetAss: Unless you count violent rapes, then its 20-25 degrees of separation from virgin.

ToolMySweetAss: Oh, abortions?

ToolMySweetAss: Ya, many.

ToolMySweetAss: I guess you're against that, being from GA and all.

spaker68: mercy,,,,, don tmatter where i'm from

ToolMySweetAss: So you don't believe in abortion?

spaker68: its your life isn't it?

spaker68: not after i certain point

spaker68: a

ToolMySweetAss: I was just curious. I like to know what a guy is all

about before I fuck him to death!

ToolMySweetAss: A certain point, like when?

spaker68: like a heart beat

spaker68: y alike to fuck huh

ToolMySweetAss: Ya, I love to fuck!

spaker68: of course you do,,, thats a dumb ?

spaker68: i like to eat pussy

ToolMySweetAss: I don't agree with sodomy.

spaker68: lick it till its dripping wet and hot as hell

ToolMySweetAss: Sodomy is any type of sex thats not meant for procreation.

ToolMySweetAss: Including eating pussy.

spaker68: yo just like dick is what you saying

ToolMySweetAss: I only have sex to create life. It's in the Bible.

ToolMySweetAss: But there's nothing in the Bible about

abortion since they didn't have it back then.

spaker68: but sex without marriage is adultery

ToolMySweetAss: I know.

ToolMySweetAss: Thats why we will cyber-marry before I can fuck you.

spaker68: lol,,,,

ToolMySweetAss: Is a Christian ceremony fine with you?

ToolMySweetAss: Do you take me, this pretty 13 yr old to be your wife?

spaker68: hell any kind will do

spaker68: to have and to hold

spaker68: till death

spaker68: is sickness and health

ToolMySweetAss: Good, me too! Lets fuck!

spaker68: ccum on

ToolMySweetAss: You may now have my virgin ass!

spaker68: always wanted to fuck a virgin ass

ToolMySweetAss: But you have to cut a hole through my rectal wall so the semen can reach my war-torn ovaries.

ToolMySweetAss: Reach in with your finger and break through the wall.

spaker68: razoer sharp dick is needed huh

ToolMySweetAss: It shouldn't take much, its just a thick layer of membrane.

ToolMySweetAss: tear it apart good, so I know who's boss!

spaker68: you know your ass dont you

ToolMySweetAss: Like the back of my cock!

ToolMySweetAss: Ready for the fucking?

spaker68: o hyea

ToolMySweetAss: What are you wearing?

spaker68: shorts

spaker68: and yourself

ToolMySweetAss: I'm wearing a robe, sandals, and a thorny crown! Guess what position I'm in???

ToolMySweetAss: Now fuck me in the ass!

spaker68: spreaded

spaker68: right up the ass

ToolMySweetAss: Nope, I'm up on a cross silly!

ToolMySweetAss: So my ass is backwards!

ToolMySweetAss: Looks like I'll have to fuck you in the ass!

spaker68: shit,, aint nothing like simple sex anymore huh

ToolMySweetAss: Jesus was more of a Giver than a taker anyway!

spaker68: gave everything

ToolMySweetAss: Now come here and take my holy cock and I will impregnate you with the new christ-child.

ToolMySweetAss: You will give birth

through your piss-hole in your

litlle bitty cock1

ToolMySweetAss: !

spaker68: your cock,,,,you a man or girl

ToolMySweetAss: I'm jesus, thats pretty uch as a-sexual as you get.

ToolMySweetAss: much*

ToolMySweetAss: But this is the New Jesus, ready to show you love in a whole new way!

ToolMySweetAss: Hey, i need some back-talk here or I can't come.

ToolMySweetAss: Hurry up.

ToolMySweetAss: My dick is like a cannon aimed right at my chin.

spaker68: sorry,,,, not sure whats going on here

ToolMySweetAss: Oh, lemme explain...

spaker68: lotta differ between west coast fucking and eastern style lol

ToolMySweetAss: You are a pedophile trying to jack off with 13 yr old girls..

ToolMySweetAss: I am a baiter and I am going to fuck you in the ass...

ToolMySweetAss: Yankee style!

ToolMySweetAss: "the night they

drove ole dixie down!"

spaker68: lol

ToolMySweetAss: Now bend up and spread me some lovin ass!

spaker68: i knew sumthing was going down ha ha

ToolMySweetAss: Any way, I'm really geared up so say that you

want my Jesus-cock in your hillbilly ass to make you se the light.

spaker68: aint no jacking off going on here dude or dickin gmy ass

spaker68: puter sex is safe sex hah

ToolMySweetAss: sayit, so i can chuck a load and go back to the rectory.

ToolMySweetAss: I got boy scouts down there waiting f or me to give em sacrement.

ToolMySweetAss: c'mon homo, if you'd rape a child certainly

you'd give a guy a hand job when he was down on his luck?

spaker68: lol dont count on it,, not this one

spaker68: better luck next time

ToolMySweetAss: Why not?

ToolMySweetAss: Thats why you're against abortion, right?

spaker68: no interest

ToolMySweetAss: Cuz it's clearing out all the pussy that is at the

age you like it!

ToolMySweetAss: Abortion kills a living child...

spaker68: actually,, i was curious

ToolMySweetAss: before you can fuck it!

ToolMySweetAss: Fucking chester the molester.

spaker68: Jesus help us both then

ToolMySweetAss: Got kids of your own?

spaker68: do you?

ToolMySweetAss: Do you fuck em?

spaker68: do you

ToolMySweetAss: I hope you die in a tractor accident while

re-enacting the civil war, you fucking loser.

spaker68: that makes no sense