Dirty Nazi

Doug is "PorkPipeAnnie"

DMUSTAINEM: hey baby

PorkPipeAnnie: Hold on a minute, spagetti-dick.

PorkPipeAnnie: Alright, I'm back.

DMUSTAINEM: where the hell were ya, annie?

PorkPipeAnnie: I had to take a shit.

DMUSTAINEM: how did it cum out? did you wipe front to back?

PorkPipeAnnie: I was cybering with some old guy who made me put a blowdryer nozzle up my ass and I shit all over the ottoman in the living room.

DMUSTAINEM: did you touch yourself while you did it?

PorkPipeAnnie: I tried but it hurt like a sonofagun.

DMUSTAINEM: ouch, annie

DMUSTAINEM: do you have a pic to show me, annie?

PorkPipeAnnie: Like you never put something in your ass under the guidance of an elder.

PorkPipeAnnie: No. No pic.

PorkPipeAnnie: You?

DMUSTAINEM: i did it got erased, compliments of a friend

DMUSTAINEM: whats your age?

PorkPipeAnnie: Why do you keep repeating my name, what are you a fucking Scientologist?

PorkPipeAnnie: 13- 14 on sunday.

DMUSTAINEM: nope, just making it personal

DMUSTAINEM: fuck scientology

DMUSTAINEM: so you like anal?

PorkPipeAnnie: Not with household appliances. But with a little dick, sure.

DMUSTAINEM: haha

DMUSTAINEM: doyou masturbate often?

PorkPipeAnnie: Is that your kink, Musty? Anal?

DMUSTAINEM: sometimes, depends on the mood

PorkPipeAnnie: Or the dinner.

DMUSTAINEM: lol

PorkPipeAnnie: Mexican or curry rules out poopchute love immediately.

DMUSTAINEM: this is very true, porky

PorkPipeAnnie: porky?

DMUSTAINEM: tell me about something very sexual you did recently

DMUSTAINEM: have you ever fingered another girl?

DMUSTAINEM: or vice versa?

PorkPipeAnnie: Fisted a bag lady once on a dare.

PorkPipeAnnie: Found out later she was dead.

DMUSTAINEM: yeah, ok

PorkPipeAnnie: Wodered why she didn't wake up.

PorkPipeAnnie: Wondered*

PorkPipeAnnie: No shit.

DMUSTAINEM: what about any lesbian experiences?

PorkPipeAnnie: Sure, a few. But I like cock.

DMUSTAINEM: i have a cock

DMUSTAINEM: you like to have your ass licked?

PorkPipeAnnie: No, but I love to lick ass.

DMUSTAINEM: you would lick my asshole?

PorkPipeAnnie: How old are you?

DMUSTAINEM: 19

PorkPipeAnnie: Ok, then, I guess I'll lick your asshole. Whats the address?

DMUSTAINEM: lol

PorkPipeAnnie: Or should we meet somewhere.

DMUSTAINEM: where are you from?

PorkPipeAnnie: Oh, you mean cyber?

PorkPipeAnnie: NV

PorkPipeAnnie: Vegas.

PorkPipeAnnie: Tell me what you are doing to yourself.

DMUSTAINEM: what are you doing?

DMUSTAINEM: nothin yet

DMUSTAINEM: you?

PorkPipeAnnie: I have a carrot in my pussy.

PorkPipeAnnie: Now I just need a bunny.

DMUSTAINEM: are you shoving it in and out?

DMUSTAINEM: lol

PorkPipeAnnie: Yep

DMUSTAINEM: to lick you?

DMUSTAINEM: slide it into your ass

PorkPipeAnnie: I told you, I'm all shitty down there.

DMUSTAINEM: ok, for now

PorkPipeAnnie: Do you still want me to?

PorkPipeAnnie: It hurts real bad.

DMUSTAINEM: not if you dont want to

DMUSTAINEM: nah, dont hurt yourself

PorkPipeAnnie: That blowdryer was a bad idea.

DMUSTAINEM: yeah it was

PorkPipeAnnie: Hey, I got an idea!

DMUSTAINEM: what is it?\

PorkPipeAnnie: Would you piss in my face?

PorkPipeAnnie: And call me a cunt?

DMUSTAINEM: that would be cool, do you like golden showers

PorkPipeAnnie: or whore, however you like.

DMUSTAINEM: does that turn you on?

PorkPipeAnnie: Bow Howdy!

PorkPipeAnnie: Boy*

DMUSTAINEM: yeah, you like being treated like a whore

PorkPipeAnnie: Yes, what woman doesn't!

DMUSTAINEM: my ex, lol

PorkPipeAnnie: Call me a whore!

DMUSTAINEM: annie, you are such a fuckin cunt

PorkPipeAnnie: Oooooh.

PorkPipeAnnie: No slap my face.

DMUSTAINEM: you fuckin whore

PorkPipeAnnie: Now*

DMUSTAINEM: bend over bitch

DMUSTAINEM: spread those legs

PorkPipeAnnie: Now punch me in the ass!

DMUSTAINEM: pull apart your ass cheeks

DMUSTAINEM: show me your holes

PorkPipeAnnie: Now push me down on the ground!

DMUSTAINEM: i'll slap you with my cock in your face

DMUSTAINEM: fuck that carrot

PorkPipeAnnie: Now stand on the side of my head and with the other foot start kicking in my face as hard as you can with steel-toe boots until my whole head collapses like an over-ripe melon under a truck tire!

PorkPipeAnnie: Oooooh!

DMUSTAINEM: uh, sure

PorkPipeAnnie: Take off the boot and runs your toes through the soft wet warmth of my oozing brains.

PorkPipeAnnie: Reach into my mouth like a dirty Nazi and pull out a gold filling, placing it in your watch pocket as a souvenier.

PorkPipeAnnie: Reach into my pants and feel the last pulse of blood surge through my still-hard cock as ejaculate spills out of my corpse onto your gloved hand.

PorkPipeAnnie: Kiss me one the forehead and whisper "I love you".