Register For Tour Updates

* indicates required
Email Format

New Album!

Available digitally on Amazon & Amazon UK

Also available digitally, instantly:



Stay Tuned!


This page used to be just for “trolling” posts, i.e., going into newsgroups online and starting shit for no particular reason other than to be funny. It was fun but it was kind of a pain in the ass. Then I stumbled across a site called What these motherfuckers were doing is going on AOL Instant Messenger posing as 13-year-old girls. They would then get pedophiles looking for cybersex and fuck with them unmercifully. It’s the funniest thing on the web. After contacting them, I was invited to try a few baits of my own. Not only is it fun as hell, but it’s a hell of a lot easier than trolling. So, with the consent of the folks at baiting, I ripped them off and put some of my own baits up here. Keep in mind, my stuff doesn’t hold a candle to theirs, so be sure to stop by their site too. Enjoy.

PS. Most of these are vulgar, many are racist, blasphemous, and sexist. Before you get all shitty about it, remember - these people are pedophiles, stupid! They are supposed to be offended. Several of them mention wet, runny poop. Why? Cuz poop always makes me laugh.



Under Sheets


Doug is 'cybergrlonwheels'


BARRY0217: hell 35/m/dad/NY

cybergrlonwheels: Hell?

BARRY0217: loc?

cybergrlonwheels: LV

BARRY0217: do you do phone?

cybergrlonwheels: Ya!

cybergrlonwheels: I loooove phone sex!

BARRY0217: interested?

cybergrlonwheels: Sure!

cybergrlonwheels: Whats your number?

BARRY0217: ***-***-****

BARRY0217: sorry ***-***-**** when will you call?

cybergrlonwheels: Where's that?


cybergrlonwheels: Well get me started here a little bit.

BARRY0217: I would slowly enter your room as you sit on your chair

cybergrlonwheels: Mmmmm. 

BARRY0217: I would get down on my knees, and start to suck your toes as I rub your thighs

BARRY0217: licking the bottom of your feet

cybergrlonwheels: Don't say that.

cybergrlonwheels: It's not funny.

BARRY0217: why?

cybergrlonwheels: Because you know I am an amputee.

cybergrlonwheels: You're making fun of me for not having feet.

BARRY0217: oh shit I did not know I am really sorry

BARRY0217: I really didn't realize it

BARRY0217: I am so embarrased

cybergrlonwheels: Thats why I am "on wheels", silly.

BARRY0217: I thought it was an expression

cybergrlonwheels: Start over, only this time start at my ears or something.

cybergrlonwheels: You're really good, except for the feet thing.

BARRY0217: i climb on top of you and slowly start to lick your neck and blow softly in your ears

BARRY0217: you moan softly as my hard cock rubs against you

cybergrlonwheels: Clear my breathing tube first before you start licking my neck or you may get a mouthful of phlegm.

cybergrlonwheels: Mmmm. Cock.

BARRY0217: want to continue on the phone?

cybergrlonwheels: Tell me about yourself. I want to know what kind of man is about to sodomize me.

cybergrlonwheels: Then we'll phone.

BARRY0217: well, i love to eat a wet open waiting pussy

cybergrlonwheels: No, I mean the real you. If I kinda know a guy I can really get into it.

BARRY0217: slowly I grind my cock against you pussy as I slip off your top

BARRY0217: I am 35/m/NY 5 9 brown hair hazel eyes

BARRY0217: 185 lbs

BARRY0217: I am in sales, home today, slow business day

BARRY0217: also, looking for new job on line

BARRY0217: what else?

cybergrlonwheels: Wow, it's like American Beauty.

BARRY0217: why is that?

cybergrlonwheels: Me being so young and you so mature and sexy.

BARRY0217: age?

cybergrlonwheels: I can imagine coming to your house while your kids are asleep.

BARRY0217: so you realize I am married

cybergrlonwheels: Creeping into your bed.

cybergrlonwheels: Oh, really?

BARRY0217: yes problem?

cybergrlonwheels: That makes it sooo much more exciting!

BARRY0217: mmm you are hot

BARRY0217: my cock is so hard

cybergrlonwheels: Whats her name? I want to pretend we're fucking with her right outside the door.

BARRY0217: Jennifer

BARRY0217: man, I want to hear your vocie

BARRY0217: voice

cybergrlonwheels: You will, I just wanna get geared up first.

cybergrlonwheels: I'll let you hear me come.

cybergrlonwheels: My 12 yr old lungs sure can make a lot of noise!

BARRY0217: 12?

cybergrlonwheels: Yep. 

cybergrlonwheels: But I fuck like I'm 15 at least.

BARRY0217: oh boy i feel stupid

BARRY0217: you were playing with me

cybergrlonwheels: What?

cybergrlonwheels: Playing?

BARRY0217: I don't want a 12 year old

cybergrlonwheels: I was cybering, who's playing.

BARRY0217: yes but 12

cybergrlonwheels: Then why didnt you read my info, stupid?

BARRY0217: my fault sorry

cybergrlonwheels: Now I am all hot and stuff.

BARRY0217: yes but 12

BARRY0217: you are a kid

cybergrlonwheels: I am older than my years.

BARRY0217: I think it is illegal

cybergrlonwheels: Well, get me off anyway, just tell me what you'd do to someone of legal age.

BARRY0217: call me

cybergrlonwheels: I would give another two legs to have a cock in my ass right now.

BARRY0217: wow, I don't know what to say

cybergrlonwheels: To feel hot meat driving up my backside would be like Heaven.

BARRY0217: you are pretty hot, I don't believe you are 12

cybergrlonwheels: I'll be 13 on August 2nd.

BARRY0217: stop it, I am getting sick

cybergrlonwheels: But my health problems may prevent that.

cybergrlonwheels: Me too.

BARRY0217: what is wrong with you?

cybergrlonwheels: You name it. Chronic Cystic Colitis, diabetes, Ludwig's Angina...

BARRY0217: I feel bad for you I am sorry

cybergrlonwheels: Thats why I cyber.

BARRY0217: can you still get off?

cybergrlonwheels: I don't think I'll ever have the chance to have sex.

cybergrlonwheels: Yes, oh Hell yes!

BARRY0217: you masterbate?

cybergrlonwheels: Like an ape on exctasy!

BARRY0217: wow, what can I do?

cybergrlonwheels: Lets pretend we're at your house.

cybergrlonwheels: Jennifer is right outside the door tending to the children.

BARRY0217: ok, alone?

BARRY0217: I am in bed

BARRY0217: suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder

cybergrlonwheels: I crawl under the covers, using my hands to propel my torso like a carny act.

BARRY0217: I can feel you aginst me

cybergrlonwheels: You grab my head like a bowling ball and stuff your cock in my mouth.

BARRY0217: you take it all in

BARRY0217: slowly sucking and licking

cybergrlonwheels: I cough and gag but you shush me, as Jennifer is sending the kids to school just outside.

cybergrlonwheels: (How old are your kids?)

BARRY0217: 3 and 5

cybergrlonwheels: Oh, so no school.

cybergrlonwheels: Names?

BARRY0217: older yes, no names please

cybergrlonwheels: K

BARRY0217: can we continue this on the phone?

cybergrlonwheels: Lets call them Mandy and Sandy.

cybergrlonwheels: In a minute.

cybergrlonwheels: So I have your cock in my mouth and I can feel your balls getting big.

BARRY0217: you suck so well, are you getting wet?'

cybergrlonwheels: Well, it doesn't get wet so much cuz of the medication. It gets kinda mucusy though.

cybergrlonwheels: Lets get back to the fantasy.

cybergrlonwheels: I'm under the covers when Sandy and Mandy allofasudden crash through the door.

cybergrlonwheels: They start jumping up and down on the bed!

BARRY0217: I try not to let them know what is going on

cybergrlonwheels: "Daddy Daddy! We want ice cream!"

BARRY0217: daddy is busy now, we will go out a little later

cybergrlonwheels: I am hiding with your cock like a frozen banana in my mouth.

BARRY0217: still working it

cybergrlonwheels: Mmmm.

BARRY0217: I want your pussy

cybergrlonwheels: Jennifer stands by the door watching you with the kids.

cybergrlonwheels: She gets that far-away smile like she used to get when you first met.

BARRY0217: I try not to moan but I want you so bad

cybergrlonwheels: You are a hero to her sometimes.

cybergrlonwheels: The kids snuggle up by your neck while my misshapen head drinks your cock.

BARRY0217: i tell her to take the kids out for a while I have some work to do

BARRY0217: damn, I am so turned on now

cybergrlonwheels: Jennifer notices a lump under the blankets near your groin.

cybergrlonwheels: "Whats under there, Dave?" she queries.

BARRY0217: I tell her it is a book

cybergrlonwheels: Uh, I am bigger than a book you know. Say its the dog.

BARRY0217: ok its the dog

cybergrlonwheels: I hear your story and run around a bit, barking through the blow-hole in my neck as best I can.

cybergrlonwheels: Then I turn and impale myself on your hard shaft ass-wise and take you in my colon.

Previous message was not received by BARRY0217 because of error: User BARRY0217 is not available.




West Virginia Redneck

Doug is "cybergrlonwheels"


wv4x4redneck1: hello

cybergrlonwheels: Hi, cutie!:-*

wv4x4redneck1: u like to cyber

wv4x4redneck1: u have a pic

wv4x4redneck1: hello

cybergrlonwheels: I don't have a pic but I loooove cyber!

wv4x4redneck1: well do u want to

wv4x4redneck1: ur 12 and u no all about sex

wv4x4redneck1: r u there

cybergrlonwheels: I guess so. Tell me something about you, something deep and meanigful so I don't feel like a whore.

cybergrlonwheels: Yes, I am here, Mr Snappy-pants.

wv4x4redneck1: my dick is 7 inches if hard

wv4x4redneck1: i love u

wv4x4redneck1: ur good in bed

cybergrlonwheels: Wow, you ARE good!

wv4x4redneck1: now will u work your magic

wv4x4redneck1: im like really horny so could u tell me some good stuff

cybergrlonwheels: Sure, but first tell me some of the crazy and exciting things you've done sexually in the past.

wv4x4redneck1: well ive ebnn all the way with 2 girls

wv4x4redneck1: been*

cybergrlonwheels: How old are you?

wv4x4redneck1: 21

wv4x4redneck1: how old r u

cybergrlonwheels: 12.

wv4x4redneck1: how old r u

wv4x4redneck1: do u have boobs yet

cybergrlonwheels: You read my profile, you know how old I am.

cybergrlonwheels: Yes I do!

wv4x4redneck1: wut size

cybergrlonwheels: They are kinda nub-like with the big bulbous areola.

wv4x4redneck1: good enough for me

wv4x4redneck1: u a virgin

cybergrlonwheels: Fuck no!

wv4x4redneck1: how old were the peopkle u had sex with

cybergrlonwheels: 17, 27, 71, 61, 30, 30, 35, 8, 22, 20, and 15.

wv4x4redneck1: where do u live

cybergrlonwheels: The 15 year old got me pregnant.

cybergrlonwheels: Las Vegas.

wv4x4redneck1: do ur parents no

cybergrlonwheels: Yes they do!

wv4x4redneck1: r u pretty

cybergrlonwheels: Beauty is on the inside. You whattya say you hurry up and get inside me!

wv4x4redneck1: reallly

wv4x4redneck1: now will u tell me from start to finish how we would get it on

cybergrlonwheels: Tell me what kinky and outrageous things you did with those two girls!

wv4x4redneck1: well i dont really no we just had regular sex

cybergrlonwheels: We're either of them your sister? I heard rednecks do that.

wv4x4redneck1: do u have any pics of any one naked

wv4x4redneck1: no they werent

wv4x4redneck1: will u please tell me now

wv4x4redneck1: please

cybergrlonwheels: So you really havent done anything?

wv4x4redneck1: had reguular in the pussy sex

wv4x4redneck1: will u please tell me stuff now please

cybergrlonwheels: Ok, I'll give you the cyber of your life but you remember who taught you the ropes!

wv4x4redneck1: ok

wv4x4redneck1: will u tell me form start to finish how we would do it

cybergrlonwheels: Lets say we are on your farm...

wv4x4redneck1: ok

cybergrlonwheels: You are out in the fields barefoot with cowshit caked in between your toes.

wv4x4redneck1: will u get on with the sex

cybergrlonwheels: You are wearing overalls by OshKoshB'Gosh, no shirt underneath and two-day-old rebel flag boxers.

wv4x4redneck1: are u going tto tell me sex or not

cybergrlonwheels: I have to set it up properly so you come really hard.

cybergrlonwheels: It's all in the details.

wv4x4redneck1: just tell me abou thte sex between us

cybergrlonwheels: Relax and start jacking off.

wv4x4redneck1: ur nto even making me hard by telling me this stuff

wv4x4redneck1: i am trying to

wv4x4redneck1: start with the sex

cybergrlonwheels: I'm doing it for me too, asshole. There's two of us here and only ONE of us has done any kind of real sex.

cybergrlonwheels: So anyway...

wv4x4redneck1: ssosrryr

wv4x4redneck1: sorry

wv4x4redneck1: just horny

cybergrlonwheels: I approach you on the farm and tell you my car has broken down and that I am being chased by thick negroes.

cybergrlonwheels: Just the word makes your cock hard. I see it and smile.

cybergrlonwheels: "Weeeeell, whut choo wantin me to do about it, Ms Puuurty?" says you in the local dialect of the uneducated.

cybergrlonwheels: "Could you put me up for the night, maybe?" says I like a whore.

wv4x4redneck1: go faster please

cybergrlonwheels: "Well only if you suck my big, crooked hillbilly pecker!" says you and you tart jumping around snorting laughter like a pig.

wv4x4redneck1: go faster

cybergrlonwheels: You throw me over your shoulder and carry me up the stairs.

cybergrlonwheels: The bedspread on your bed is purple.

wv4x4redneck1: go on

cybergrlonwheels: I ask why you like purple and you say it's beacuse you enjoy Prince and his music, but not so much the later releases.

wv4x4redneck1: hey hurry up please

cybergrlonwheels: I say Purple rain was the only good CD he has and we drop it.

wv4x4redneck1: HURRY UP

cybergrlonwheels: I ask you if you have anything to eat as you stand their with your beautiful member staring out at me.

cybergrlonwheels: You say you have hominy grits.

wv4x4redneck1: TYPE FASTER

cybergrlonwheels: "Ive never had grits" says I.

cybergrlonwheels: "Youve never had grits?" says you.

cybergrlonwheels: "NO, I never had grits" says I.

cybergrlonwheels: I cant beleive you have never tried grits" says you.


cybergrlonwheels: Ok!

cybergrlonwheels: You begin preparing the grits while I slowly undress.

cybergrlonwheels: I peel of my hospital gown to reveal my bandages.


cybergrlonwheels: My bosom heaves under the ointments, salves and lotions.

cybergrlonwheels: I crave dick sooo bad but you are only interested in cooking grits.


wv4x4redneck1: OR ILL JUST LEAVE

cybergrlonwheels: "Y'all want pork-chunks in your grits?" says you.

cybergrlonwheels: (I'm getting to it in just a second)

wv4x4redneck1: i said mi getting off if u dont starts ucking

cybergrlonwheels: "No, pork chunks for me" says me..."I'm a vegan".

cybergrlonwheels: "Guess that means you don't suck dick then" says you.

wv4x4redneck1: i f u dont start sucking in the next line im leaving

cybergrlonwheels: "Well, i can make an exception for you" says I and I start towards you and your boner.

cybergrlonwheels: You take out your big curly sweet-radish dick and begin to stroke it.

wv4x4redneck1: start sucking

cybergrlonwheels: I drop to my knees as you prepare the grits on a paper plate.

cybergrlonwheels: It's not so much paper as it is styrofoam with the little compartments so your peas dont get in your cornpone.

wv4x4redneck1: ok that is it im leaving

cybergrlonwheels: What is cornpone anyway?" says I

cybergrlonwheels: WAIT!

cybergrlonwheels: Here's the sex part!

wv4x4redneck1: stick my dick in ur moooouth or bye bye

cybergrlonwheels: I eat the grits, fuck you and go to bed.

wv4x4redneck1: at least suck my dick

cybergrlonwheels: In the morning you ask if I need a ride into town.

cybergrlonwheels: "Well, I sure wouldn't mind, as I dont see a bus stop around here", says I.

wv4x4redneck1: i say ill give u one if u suck my dick now

cybergrlonwheels: We already did the sex. It's romance time.

wv4x4redneck1: just please suck my dick

cybergrlonwheels: Tell me how you will take me to the ball.

wv4x4redneck1: listen i waited for u to tell me how u would suck my idck so please jsut tell me

cybergrlonwheels: I don't suck dicks because of my affliction. I lost all of my lower jaw in the accident.

cybergrlonwheels: Tell me how you will sponge off my stumps for our wedding.

cybergrlonwheels: Then I will suck your ****.

wv4x4redneck1: well tell me how u stick my dick in ur pussy or someting like htat

cybergrlonwheels: I already did.

wv4x4redneck1: u didnt tell me that

cybergrlonwheels: Now sponge off my stumps.

cybergrlonwheels: Yes I did.

wv4x4redneck1: bye

cybergrlonwheels: cybergrlonwheels: I eat the grits, fuck you and go to bed.

cybergrlonwheels: See?

wv4x4redneck1: haha

wv4x4redneck1: bye

cybergrlonwheels: WAIT!

wv4x4redneck1: no

wv4x4redneck1: bye

cybergrlonwheels: Why won't you love me?

wv4x4redneck1: ur really tstupid

cybergrlonwheels: You want me to ... I dont know...suck your dick?

wv4x4redneck1: ur [rplly some 30 eyar old woman that cant get anything in reallife or the computer

cybergrlonwheels: Why are you being mean to me?

wv4x4redneck1: u r a liar

wv4x4redneck1: u are a liar

cybergrlonwheels: What?

cybergrlonwheels: Liar?

wv4x4redneck1: yes

wv4x4redneck1: u lied to me

cybergrlonwheels: About what?

wv4x4redneck1: i stuck around for u to tell me how we would have sex and u give m eu XXXX and then go to bed

wv4x4redneck1: good bye

cybergrlonwheels: I would never lie. Its against everything Jesus taught us.

cybergrlonwheels: WAIT!

wv4x4redneck1: then tell me how we would have sex form start to finish with out all htat grits and stuff

wv4x4redneck1: start with the sex and stay with the sex

cybergrlonwheels: I will let you fuck my ass if you just settle down.

wv4x4redneck1: ok

wv4x4redneck1: start now

wv4x4redneck1: not the ass pussy

cybergrlonwheels: Ok, I sit you down on the bed and start licking your balls.

cybergrlonwheels: I take your whole cock deep into my mouth and you start to shiver.

cybergrlonwheels: I pull your hands up over your head.

cybergrlonwheels: I tie you belly-down on the cold basement floor.

cybergrlonwheels: I stroke your cock with one hand and with the other I ready myself for fucking.

wv4x4redneck1: go faster

cybergrlonwheels: You keep your ass arched up in the air so I can get at your dick

cybergrlonwheels: The site of your ass has me hard as nails.

cybergrlonwheels: I take my own beautiful cock and plunge it up your ass

wv4x4redneck1: none of that

cybergrlonwheels: I start singing Yankee Doodle Dandy as I come in your ass.

wv4x4redneck1: just my dick in ur pussy

wv4x4redneck1: now

cybergrlonwheels: My balls empty into your dirty rebel colon .

cybergrlonwheels: You cry and ask why I didnt tell you I was really a man.

cybergrlonwheels: "Shut up and cook us more grits" says I.

cybergrlonwheels: "But you just raped my ass" says you.

cybergrlonwheels: "I'm fixin to take a shit in yo mouf if you dont make me vittles" says I.


Previous message was not received by wv4x4redneck1 because of error: User wv4x4redneck1 is not available.




Doug is "dirtybagina"


sigs011481: hi

dirtybagina: What?

sigs011481: you sound cool

dirtybagina: Thanks!

dirtybagina: So does Staci!

dirtybagina: I wish I could talk about myself more, but it's selfish. If you really wanna know what makes me tick, take a look at what I have to say about my girlfriend. She is my life these days. I would have nothing to live for if it wasn't for her. She really is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is my one and only, and she always will be. I love you so much Staci. You're the greatest. Some day soon we'll be right where we belong--with each other.

sigs011481: she is my ex

dirtybagina: Oh, you'd better remove that then.

sigs011481: soon

dirtybagina: And put in there that she's a whore.

dirtybagina: No, now.

sigs011481: she's not

dirtybagina: Put in there that you guys broke up.

dirtybagina: Now.

sigs011481: no

dirtybagina: Do it and I'll cyber you real good.

dirtybagina: I'll let you fuck me in any hole you want.

sigs011481: I'll erase it but that's it

dirtybagina: Nope. You have to put in there that she is your ex-girlfriend now.

sigs011481: forget it

dirtybagina: Liar.

sigs011481: no I'm not

sigs011481: I don't want other people to know that we broke up

sigs011481: for a reason of my own

dirtybagina: Oh, so you lie to your friends?

dirtybagina: Liar.

sigs011481: yep

sigs011481: more like girls who are bugging me

dirtybagina: Oh, ok!

dirtybagina: Then put in there that I am your new girlfriend. That should clear things right up.

dirtybagina: I'll wait.

sigs011481: no...can't do that

dirtybagina: Why not?

dirtybagina: Because you are a...

dirtybagina: Liar?

sigs011481: yeah...that's it

dirtybagina: Why did you break up?

sigs011481: she cheated

dirtybagina: Hahahahahahaha.

dirtybagina: Couldn't keep her satisfied, huh?

sigs011481: that wasn't it

dirtybagina: I didnt mean to laugh but the thought of YOUR girlfriend sleeping with an impressive Negro like him just killed me.

dirtybagina: Especially they way she loved taking him in her mouth.

sigs011481: ok are really annoying the hell out of me

dirtybagina: I was just saying is all.

sigs011481: well you are wrong

dirtybagina: Show her who is boss and put in your profile that you are fucking ME now.

sigs011481: but I'm not

dirtybagina: You will be!

sigs011481: whatever

dirtybagina: Where do you live, anway?

sigs011481: ohio

dirtybagina: Really? What part?

sigs011481: canton

dirtybagina: No kidding?

sigs011481: nope

dirtybagina: I just moved from there!

sigs011481: whatever

dirtybagina: I went to Dueber Elementary!

dirtybagina: I'm serious!

dirtybagina: What school did you go to?

sigs011481: holy shit

sigs011481: really?

sigs011481: I went Hoover

dirtybagina: I never heard of Hoover.

sigs011481: it's in N. Canton

dirtybagina: Oh.

dirtybagina: Does Tina Johnson teach there?

sigs011481: yeah

dirtybagina: Ok, I know now.

dirtybagina: She's a friend of my Dad.

sigs011481: ok

sigs011481: she teaches biology

dirtybagina: Are you in her class?

sigs011481: was

sigs011481: not

dirtybagina: She's kind of a bitch.

sigs011481: I know

dirtybagina: Don't tell her I told you that!!!

sigs011481: i don't go there anymore. I'm 20

dirtybagina: Oh, ok!

dirtybagina: Phew!

dirtybagina: Whats your name?

sigs011481: Scott

sigs011481: you?

dirtybagina: Mine is Regina but everyone calls me Gina.

sigs011481: cool

dirtybagina: Or baby if we are fucking!

sigs011481: hey baby

sigs011481: j/k

dirtybagina: Do like having your cock sucked?

sigs011481: never had it done

dirtybagina: What is the craziest thing you have done sexually?

sigs011481: ate a girl out

sigs011481: many times

dirtybagina: Thats the craziest?

sigs011481: yes...not very experienced...although I know what to do

dirtybagina: You ever try a Wampanaug SledgeHammer?

sigs011481: no

sigs011481: what do you look like?

dirtybagina: How about a Screaming Maxwell?

sigs011481: nope

dirtybagina: Oh, I look just like Lisa from the Simpsons.

sigs011481: lol...seriously though

dirtybagina: What do you look like?

sigs011481: 5'10" blonde and blue 150

dirtybagina: Mmmm.

dirtybagina: And no one has ever sucked your cock?

sigs011481: no

dirtybagina: Wow, thats a shame.:-(

sigs011481: I know

dirtybagina: You know what this is...

dirtybagina: =-O

sigs011481: what

sigs011481: what is it

dirtybagina: Thats the look on Staci's face when that gargantuan Negroid enters her anally before she's even up for breakfast!

sigs011481: shut up

dirtybagina: >:oTake it, bitch says he!

dirtybagina: J/K

sigs011481: shut up...jesus christ

dirtybagina: I am just teasing you.

sigs011481: good

sigs011481: soo...what do you look like?

dirtybagina: I lool like Angela from Hooked On Love.

dirtybagina: I wonder...

sigs011481: doesn't help

dirtybagina: Do you think that Staci and the guy she fucked sat around after he shot his goo all over her face and belly and laughed about your small penis?

sigs011481: no...i have a big cock, but she never saw it

dirtybagina: Do you think she lets him listen when you call up and cry like a bitch into the phone?

sigs011481: shut the fuck up

dirtybagina: They try not to giggle when she swallows his big, sore-riddled cock while she talks to you on the phone.

dirtybagina: "No, I love you too," she says while an immense black cock stretches her ass open, "I'm just not IN love with you!"

dirtybagina: Wouldn't that be funny?

sigs011481: knock it off

dirtybagina: OK, I was just saying is all.

sigs011481: well stop it

sigs011481: and fuck me

dirtybagina: Have you ever tried to suck your own cock?

sigs011481: no

dirtybagina: I mean, since nobody else will.

sigs011481: you would

dirtybagina: Go get some hand lotion and a rubber glove. I wanna try something.

sigs011481: no

dirtybagina: Why not?

dirtybagina: Don't you like new things?

sigs011481: I don't have gloves

dirtybagina: OK, we'll do it without gloves.

dirtybagina: You have lotion?

sigs011481: ok...I've got lotion

dirtybagina: Are you naked?

sigs011481: not quite

dirtybagina: Get that way.

sigs011481: ok

sigs011481: now I am

dirtybagina: Is your sweet cock hard for me?

sigs011481: yeah

dirtybagina: OK, get up on all fours and pull on your cock for me.

dirtybagina: Lather up both hands with lotion.

dirtybagina: Now is the tough part...

dirtybagina: Its gonna be kinda like a ventriloquist act.

dirtybagina: First I want you to say in a girls voice "Oh, Donte, That is the biggest cock I have ever had!"

sigs011481: hell no

dirtybagina: Now in a big Negro voice say "Thats right Staci, and you gonna take it all in yo ass!"

dirtybagina: Now plunge your other hand right up your ass!

dirtybagina: The whole fist!

dirtybagina: So you know how she feels!

dirtybagina: Writhing around on the big black meat stick!

dirtybagina: (Did you come already?)

dirtybagina: (Hello?)


Previous message was not received by sigs011481 because of error: User sigs011481 is not available.



Punch Fucking

Doug is "cybergrlonwheels"


NewDeal51: hey

cybergrlonwheels: What is it?

NewDeal51: sup?

cybergrlonwheels: I fucking hate people who use that expression.

NewDeal51: sorry

cybergrlonwheels: Rephrase it.

NewDeal51: how are you doing?

cybergrlonwheels: Fine, thanks!

cybergrlonwheels: :-)

NewDeal51: how is you night going?

cybergrlonwheels: OK, listen. I have had a long fucking day...too long to play fucking games with you. You have aske dme howI am doing three times now.

cybergrlonwheels: Get to your fucking point.

NewDeal51: hey i saw you cone into a chat room, saw your info, and you seemed to be a awsome girl to talk to

cybergrlonwheels: There. Was that so hard?

NewDeal51: no

cybergrlonwheels: If I seem bitchy its because I had to work all day.

NewDeal51: do you work at a restuant or like a office?

cybergrlonwheels: No, I am a CandyStriper.

cybergrlonwheels: I have to work at the nursing home.

NewDeal51: i hope your not serouse

cybergrlonwheels: I wish I could get a job doing cyber. It's soooo much more fun and I am soooo much better at it.

cybergrlonwheels: Yes, I am serious. Who lies about volunteering for the elderly?

NewDeal51: that would be the perfict job

cybergrlonwheels: That or being your spell-checker, but who could stand the long hours.

NewDeal51: yea you made your point

cybergrlonwheels: So what kinds of sex are you into? I only cyber with experienced guys.

NewDeal51: im not really into the butt sex

NewDeal51: but if she really wants it..

NewDeal51: and i like to please the woman insetd of making her do all of the work

cybergrlonwheels: Did I ask what you AREN"T into? No, I asked what you ARE into.

cybergrlonwheels: Pay attention.

NewDeal51: im into everything excpt the butt sex

cybergrlonwheels: Everything?

NewDeal51: and stuff up my ass, i dont like that at all

cybergrlonwheels: Great!

NewDeal51: what are you into?

cybergrlonwheels: I have been experimenting quite a bit.

cybergrlonwheels: Especially at work.

cybergrlonwheels: Ever try punch-fucking the elderly?

cybergrlonwheels: Hello?

NewDeal51: well i did do this 30 year old

cybergrlonwheels: Punch-fucked her?

NewDeal51: yea

cybergrlonwheels: How?

cybergrlonwheels: If you are going to take this long to answer every time I'm gone.

NewDeal51: i think were talking about the same thing, i put my fist up her pussy

cybergrlonwheels: Oh, that shit is 3rd grade.

cybergrlonwheels: No this is how we do it...

NewDeal51: how do you do it then?

cybergrlonwheels: Me and Dr Hanrahan from the nursing home find the old people with the worst dementia...

cybergrlonwheels: Sneak in and cover their vagina with an industrial lubricant and then punch them in the cunt as hard as you can.

cybergrlonwheels: Most of the time your hand goes right in it.

cybergrlonwheels: Wanna try that?

NewDeal51: yea

NewDeal51: sounds fun

cybergrlonwheels: OK. Lets pretend that you are an old man at the home. You are sleeping on your belly and you have no family that cares about you...

NewDeal51: ok

cybergrlonwheels: Me and Dr Hanrahan slip into you room to give you medication.

cybergrlonwheels: We are both wearing rubber gloves for some reason.

NewDeal51: i like my drugs

NewDeal51: whats with the gloves?

cybergrlonwheels: Oh, this is just hospital procedure, Mr NewDeal, relax and hold really hard to the side of the bed.

NewDeal51: my last name is Houst

NewDeal51: and ok nurse, what ever you say

cybergrlonwheels: Dr Hanrahan cocks his fist and fires a hard, straight right like a piston into your hot ass.

cybergrlonwheels: Bingo!

cybergrlonwheels: Straight in your pajama-hole!

NewDeal51: THANKS DOC! you my colen is woking agen

cybergrlonwheels: You twist and writhe, trying to get his gloved hand out of your broken rectum.

NewDeal51: no more bed pan for me

cybergrlonwheels: Did you come yet?

NewDeal51: fome what

cybergrlonwheels: From the cyber?

NewDeal51: you just shove a rubber glove up my ass

cybergrlonwheels: Well you started trying to be funny so I thought you came.

cybergrlonwheels: What do you want to do?

NewDeal51: i like the tradisonal sex

NewDeal51: but ill go with what ever you want

cybergrlonwheels: You mean, I lay on my back - you fuck me - we go to sleep?

NewDeal51: yea that does seem boring

NewDeal51: you got somehting better?

cybergrlonwheels: Well you start.

NewDeal51: ok

NewDeal51: i kiss you with pason on the lips

cybergrlonwheels: Pason?

cybergrlonwheels: Is that an Italian gravy?

cybergrlonwheels: Or is that the stuff they put on sores?

NewDeal51: Passion

cybergrlonwheels: Oh, I see. Thats sweet. Go ahead.

NewDeal51: we hold eachother close

cybergrlonwheels: Mmmm.

NewDeal51: arms around eaches head

NewDeal51: enjoying the moment

cybergrlonwheels: I am getting sooo excited.

NewDeal51: our hands move from body to body

NewDeal51: room feels hotter

cybergrlonwheels: Tell me about your sweet sweet cock.

NewDeal51: its 10'' , thick and it is swelling at every motion you make

cybergrlonwheels: Oooooh. I want that in my ass soooo bad.

cybergrlonwheels: I think I can take it all.

cybergrlonwheels: I tokk 8 1/2 inches in my ass once for almost 20 minutes before I started to shit myself.

cybergrlonwheels: took*

NewDeal51: im sorry to tell you i last londer than that

NewDeal51: longer*

cybergrlonwheels: I just meant in my ass.

NewDeal51: we move to the bed

cybergrlonwheels: I'd only let you in my ass for a few minutes because I had pork for lunch and it seemed a bit spoiled.

cybergrlonwheels: I've been shitting liquids and small chunks all afternoon.

cybergrlonwheels: Like beef stew.

NewDeal51: all right what ever you want

cybergrlonwheels: Beef stew that feels like fire and stinks like the dead.

cybergrlonwheels: Anyway. I want you to eat me out.

NewDeal51: alight

NewDeal51: i move down to your legs

NewDeal51: take off your pants

cybergrlonwheels: Uh... wait.

cybergrlonwheels: I don't have any.

NewDeal51: whats wrong?

NewDeal51: ok do you have panties?

cybergrlonwheels: No, I dont have legs.:'(

cybergrlonwheels: Thats why I have this SN.

cybergrlonwheels: Didn't you read my profile?

NewDeal51: its ok

NewDeal51: im sorry

NewDeal51: i thought you ment a car or somehting

cybergrlonwheels: OK, as long as you don't mind.

NewDeal51: not at all

NewDeal51: i start to lick aound your pussy

cybergrlonwheels: OK, then repeat the part about taking of my pants, only say "protective adult undergarment" instead of pants.

cybergrlonwheels: off*

NewDeal51: i remove your protective adult undergarment

cybergrlonwheels: Mmmm.

NewDeal51: i start to lick aound your pussy

cybergrlonwheels: Check for excrement*

cybergrlonwheels: (You always have to do that to be safe)

cybergrlonwheels: OK, all clean. Go ahead.

NewDeal51: i caress your libia

NewDeal51: with my toung

cybergrlonwheels: What part of my libia?

cybergrlonwheels: Beirut?

cybergrlonwheels: Wow Khaddafi just came in your mouth.

NewDeal51: i dirnk it like water

cybergrlonwheels: Its "labia", nitwit.

NewDeal51: thats latin for mouth libia is you vaginal mouth

NewDeal51: nitwit

cybergrlonwheels: No, its labia. You dont tell me about my pussy and I wont tell you about your cock.

NewDeal51: talking about my cock

NewDeal51: its has go no action

cybergrlonwheels: What?

NewDeal51: you want me to go down on you let just do it insted of a spell check

cybergrlonwheels: OK, eat my libia.

NewDeal51: thank you

NewDeal51: i roll my toung in your vagina

cybergrlonwheels: Mmmmm.

NewDeal51: i roll it up and pound you with my toung

NewDeal51: feeling for your sweet spot

cybergrlonwheels: Not to hard, my pussy is covered in bed sores from the chair.

cybergrlonwheels: And they are all "sweet spots".

NewDeal51: ill take it slow

cybergrlonwheels: Mmmmm.

NewDeal51: i move my toung around with the smothest of motion

cybergrlonwheels: I'm ready for you to punch-fuck me now.

NewDeal51: takes out the rubber gloves and lubercant

cybergrlonwheels: Do it in my ass.

NewDeal51: cocks his arm back

NewDeal51: and BAM

NewDeal51: bullseye

cybergrlonwheels: Sometimes I get so into the fantasy that I actully shit.

cybergrlonwheels: My chair is covered in soupy baby shit right now.

NewDeal51: dont you have a diper or something?

cybergrlonwheels: I took it off when you said "I take off your protective undergarment".

cybergrlonwheels: I play fair.

NewDeal51: i understand

NewDeal51: want me to punch you some more?

cybergrlonwheels: Anyhoo, lets get to your big hard-on and I'll have my brother mop this up when he gets home.

cybergrlonwheels: What can I do for you?

NewDeal51: i want you to get me hard in your mouth and then finesh in your pussy

cybergrlonwheels: OK!

NewDeal51: start please

cybergrlonwheels: I have you put me down gently on the floor, careful not to pull out any of my many tubes.

NewDeal51: lays you down slowly on the floor

cybergrlonwheels: You rub my head, smooth from a recent shaving for surgery.

cybergrlonwheels: Your cock blasts into my mouth, catching by surprise and smashing out my brittle teeth.

NewDeal51: sorry about that

cybergrlonwheels: Don't apologize. It's ok.

NewDeal51: with out teath your be able to suck it better

cybergrlonwheels: You try to come but you can't because the stench of my hole is peeling the paint off the walls.

NewDeal51: ok

NewDeal51: c yz

cybergrlonwheels: Wait!


Previous message was not received by NewDeal51 because of error: User NewDeal51 is not available.




Doug is "ToolMySweetAss"


DeadSet69: HelllO there....

DeadSet69: :-)

ToolMySweetAss: Hello.

DeadSet69: How you doin this early morn??

ToolMySweetAss: Its late here.

DeadSet69: 340 am ova here...

ToolMySweetAss: Where are you?

DeadSet69: Idaho...

ToolMySweetAss: Are you a white supremacist?

DeadSet69: Hell are all up north...Im south...I dont dig that shit anywho

ToolMySweetAss: I hate white people. What part of Idaho?

DeadSet69: Southeastern

ToolMySweetAss: Boise? Nampa? Parma?

ToolMySweetAss: Oh...

DeadSet69: Pocatelllo

ToolMySweetAss: Blackfoot?

ToolMySweetAss: Poca..

ToolMySweetAss: Ah.

ToolMySweetAss: I am in Madagascar. But we studied Idaho in grade school.

DeadSet69: Ohhh YOU did??? Nice....what time is it there??

ToolMySweetAss: &:44 pm on Sunday

ToolMySweetAss: July 15th.

DeadSet69: You yankin my chain may be right..but I know it aint July 15th....

ToolMySweetAss: It really is. The rebels have been going apeshit.

DeadSet69: lol

ToolMySweetAss: They dont like the white mans calender.

DeadSet69: Weird

ToolMySweetAss: I saw a woman beheaded in the street yesterday for questioning the date.

ToolMySweetAss: It's ok, she wasn't really attractive.


ToolMySweetAss: What size is your ass?

DeadSet69: MY good size

ToolMySweetAss: Is it more wide or long?

ToolMySweetAss: Hamidou will need to know.

DeadSet69: Nope

ToolMySweetAss: He fashions the butt plugs on the Island and if you come here to be my wife he will need to know about your backside.

ToolMySweetAss: It is our tradition to fill the man-wife with a ceremonial butt-wedge to show that she is not foul.

ToolMySweetAss: Hello?

DeadSet69: Interesting world you live in

ToolMySweetAss: What is funny?

DeadSet69: You

ToolMySweetAss: Here it is a crime to smile.

DeadSet69: It is a crime not too smile in Pocatello...

ToolMySweetAss: If you think something is funny, you must shit in a pail here to show appreciation.

ToolMySweetAss: To smile means imprisonment.

DeadSet69: I dont believe YOU...

DeadSet69: :-)

ToolMySweetAss: Then go away.

DeadSet69: lol....PEACE tooo YOU ASS

ToolMySweetAss: To not believe is to face death before our firing squad.

ToolMySweetAss: Its our law.

ToolMySweetAss: What is your address.

ToolMySweetAss: ?

ToolMySweetAss: I must let my superior know that you were seen laughing and dis-believing.

DeadSet69: Uhmm.....lets see...I believe it is....666...Bitemeway Pocahontes...Montana.....

ToolMySweetAss: So that a firing squad might be sent to your hut.

ToolMySweetAss: Please do not move without leaving a fwding address at madagascarfiringsquad@rebelliondeathsquad,co m

ToolMySweetAss: In the meantime I will cyber you out of respect for your early passing.

ToolMySweetAss: Take out your ass.

ToolMySweetAss: Hello?


Previous message was not received by DeadSet69 because of error: Instant Messenger(SM) cannot send this message because you have blocked the recipient. You can change this setting on the Privacy tab of the Preferences dialog.