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This page used to be just for “trolling” posts, i.e., going into newsgroups online and starting shit for no particular reason other than to be funny. It was fun but it was kind of a pain in the ass. Then I stumbled across a site called What these motherfuckers were doing is going on AOL Instant Messenger posing as 13-year-old girls. They would then get pedophiles looking for cybersex and fuck with them unmercifully. It’s the funniest thing on the web. After contacting them, I was invited to try a few baits of my own. Not only is it fun as hell, but it’s a hell of a lot easier than trolling. So, with the consent of the folks at baiting, I ripped them off and put some of my own baits up here. Keep in mind, my stuff doesn’t hold a candle to theirs, so be sure to stop by their site too. Enjoy.

PS. Most of these are vulgar, many are racist, blasphemous, and sexist. Before you get all shitty about it, remember - these people are pedophiles, stupid! They are supposed to be offended. Several of them mention wet, runny poop. Why? Cuz poop always makes me laugh.



Beer Shit


Doug is "ToolMySweetAss"


BigBoyJSC19: and I'd tool your sweet ass anytime!

ToolMySweetAss: Why thanks!

BigBoyJSC19: ;-)

BigBoyJSC19: anytime!

BigBoyJSC19: if you could fit it all

ToolMySweetAss: I would have to take a shit first.

BigBoyJSC19: why's that?

ToolMySweetAss: So as to accomodate more cock, silly.

BigBoyJSC19: well, i think I could fit it all in that tight pussy of yours

BigBoyJSC19: or your mouth of course...

ToolMySweetAss: Not the pussy, its pretty tore up right now.

BigBoyJSC19: from what?

ToolMySweetAss: Mouth is bad too. Braces.

BigBoyJSC19: well then I'll fuck your big tits...

ToolMySweetAss: I got kicked in the cunt by a mule down and Randy Akers farm during the pig show.

BigBoyJSC19: wow

ToolMySweetAss: Not with the brace on, you won't.

ToolMySweetAss: It'll have to be the ass.

BigBoyJSC19: nah, too tight

ToolMySweetAss: Hang on, I'll go shit.

BigBoyJSC19: I'll pass

ToolMySweetAss: No no no. Wait!

BigBoyJSC19: why's that?

ToolMySweetAss: You said you'd tool my sweet ass anytime!

BigBoyJSC19: well ot after that

ToolMySweetAss: You just promised!

BigBoyJSC19: that's for sure

BigBoyJSC19: I didn't promise

ToolMySweetAss: Why?

BigBoyJSC19: because that's kinda sick

ToolMySweetAss: It's not like it's a *lot* of shit.

ToolMySweetAss: And besides, it's not even solid.

BigBoyJSC19: well, it's shit

BigBoyJSC19: and I do't feel like waering it

ToolMySweetAss: It's mostly draft beer and peanuts.

ToolMySweetAss: Wait!

ToolMySweetAss: How about a hand job?

BigBoyJSC19: mmmm I might like that

ToolMySweetAss: Cool, Let me wipe the shit off my hands.

BigBoyJSC19: I''ll pass again

BigBoyJSC19: you're kinda sick

ToolMySweetAss: Wait!

BigBoyJSC19: I don't want your mouth either, ecause it's full of SHIT.

ToolMySweetAss: Let me see if I can open up my beaver.

ToolMySweetAss: It looks like Rocky's eye after the fight.

BigBoyJSC19: I bet

ToolMySweetAss: What would you do to me if I was there right now?

BigBoyJSC19: what would you do to me if you were here?

ToolMySweetAss: I would lay you on your back...

ToolMySweetAss: and take down your slacks.

BigBoyJSC19: mmmm baby

BigBoyJSC19: yes

ToolMySweetAss: I would make small cirlces around the head of your cock with my tongue..

BigBoyJSC19: oohhh god aby

ToolMySweetAss: being careful not to catch my braces in your pubic mound...

BigBoyJSC19: mmmmmm

ToolMySweetAss: I would sit up on your face...

BigBoyJSC19: your mouth feels good

ToolMySweetAss: and gently caress your nose with my pussy...

BigBoyJSC19: mmmmmm

ToolMySweetAss: then you touch my breast...

ToolMySweetAss: I panic...

BigBoyJSC19: mmm baby

ToolMySweetAss: My Uncle used to touch me like that!

ToolMySweetAss: I start to cry!

BigBoyJSC19: I can't believe you have gotten my cock so hard!

ToolMySweetAss: And blow wet beer shit all over your face, eyes, nose neck chest...

ToolMySweetAss: ooooh Goodness I can't stop!

ToolMySweetAss: Oh, Lord my ass!

ToolMySweetAss: It's like a broken levy of acrid bowel lava!

ToolMySweetAss: Did you come yet?

ToolMySweetAss: Jello?




Doug is "aidsblood"


bobmfk: busy?

aidsblood: Not one bit!

bobmfk: is that age right on you r profile?

aidsblood: Yep! I'll be 14 in June.

bobmfk: then why no teenage guy?

aidsblood: They are SOOOOO boring!

aidsblood: Older guys know how to F-U-C-K!

bobmfk: you name is very usual!

aidsblood: Where you from, scum?

aidsblood: Oh ya...

bobmfk: hey not nice young lady

bobmfk: chicago

bobmfk: you

aidsblood: thats what my friends call me.


aidsblood: Oops, caplock.

bobmfk: kind of figured that

bobmfk: whats your real name?

aidsblood: Chondra. It's in my profile, pedophile.

aidsblood: I like to rhyme.

aidsblood: What do you do, dirty Jew?

bobmfk: hey ..keep that and you'll get something in your ass

bobmfk: or would you rather get in the the face???

aidsblood: Like it both ways, actually.

bobmfk: ooooh gooody

bobmfk: do you have a pic???

aidsblood: No, do you?

bobmfk: ya

aidsblood: Send it along, monster-schlong!

bobmfk: so what do you look like?

bobmfk: no if you dont have one!!

bobmfk: come on done be shy!!!

aidsblood: OK forget it then.

bobmfk: so you like cock!!!

aidsblood: I look like Cameron Diaz with a harelip.

bobmfk: why the goofy hanhdle doll

aidsblood: Goofy?

bobmfk: well not reall

bobmfk: but its a little weird!

bobmfk: i take it you're not a virgin????

aidsblood: Not at all!

bobmfk: well you like sex the normal way or do you have a favorite position!

bobmfk: i bet you be good on the lap facing me so i can get it deep into you

aidsblood: Mmmmm!

bobmfk: you have nice breasts?

aidsblood: Yes, I like it!

aidsblood: Yes, as a matter of fact I do!

bobmfk: nice for sucking on and licking!!

bobmfk: your pussy tight?

aidsblood: Oh ya! *cough cough*

aidsblood: Tight as a drunken Irishman!

aidsblood: And smells as bad!

bobmfk: then its nice for fingering!

aidsblood: And eating!

bobmfk: i like to go in and play with your clit

bobmfk: hold it in my fingers and squeeze it

aidsblood: I like to put things in it, like sandwiches and raw pork, and leave them in their til they rot.

aidsblood: After a week or so the send me to the doctors and I get out of school for a few days.

bobmfk: i rather run my cock in and out of it first!!

bobmfk: while i'm play toungue hockey with you

aidsblood: Mmmm. I love hockey! Fucking Kings went in the shitter last night, though, didnt they?

bobmfk: you like you breasts squeezed hard while you get fucked in your pussy!!

aidsblood: Not too hard cuz I bruise easy and it shows on camera.

bobmfk: you model or dance???

bobmfk: you have big nipples?

aidsblood: I do films.

bobmfk: i take it sex films!

aidsblood: Nipples like long, cancerous penises.

aidsblood: Yes, sex films.

bobmfk: hmmmm nice

aidsblood: My Dad has me do them to pay for Nicholas to go to school.

bobmfk: ya sure!!

aidsblood: *cough cough cough*

aidsblood: *wheeze*

bobmfk: and i suppose that your pussy making noise!!1

aidsblood: Now, its the virus.

bobmfk: herpes!!!!

bobmfk: or the clapp?

bobmfk: i 'll bet you'r a gorgous good liking girl chondra with and ass that wont quit!!!

bobmfk: well you there???????

bobmfk: or do you want more fucking !!!!!

aidsblood: hello?

aidsblood: Hello?

bobmfk: hi

bobmfk: i see your back

bobmfk: want to fuck

aidsblood: Ya, my Dad came home.

aidsblood: Sorry.

bobmfk: irts ok

bobmfk: you eral do nude movies!

aidsblood: Tell me about yourself, Bobby, get me back into it.

aidsblood: Ya, unfortunately.

bobmfk: dose your dad make you?

aidsblood: Ya, I guess.

aidsblood: Not really "make" but you don't want to make him mad.

bobmfk: what do you mean guess so?

bobmfk: ok i see

aidsblood: He says he'd be real "disappointed" if I didn't.

bobmfk: he in the sex movie busy?

bobmfk: i'll bet you're really pretty too!!

aidsblood: Yeah, people say I look like Cameron Diaz if she were a midget.

bobmfk: you like to fuck

aidsblood: Like a truck driver.

bobmfk: i'd like to have you

aidsblood: Where do you live?

bobmfk: chicago

aidsblood: Oh ya, you told me that.

aidsblood: The windy city.

bobmfk: your in vagas right

aidsblood: Speaking of wind, one time I was 69 with my cousin Dale and I had to fart but I ended up shitting on his nose.

bobmfk: oh god

bobmfk: bet you're good at screwing

aidsblood: Good? Fucking pro, flapjack!

bobmfk: you like fucking your pussy or giving b.j.s?

bobmfk: i'd strippyou pants off

bobmfk: you

bobmfk: flip you on the bed

bobmfk: and drive my cock right into you pussy

aidsblood: How bout something different?

aidsblood: How bout we make a new hole so I am a vigin?

bobmfk: well i can do you on the kitchen counter

bobmfk: you likre it in you ass?

aidsblood: No, too worn out. I have a prolapsed rectum from the brutal filming schedule.

aidsblood: Hangs out of me like a blistered cows udder.

bobmfk: how long you been doing this shit???

aidsblood: Have to film all my scenes on my back so you can't see it.

aidsblood: Since I was 11.

aidsblood: When my tits first started coming about.

bobmfk: do the guys you screw on film wear condoms?

aidsblood: No, which is how I got all AIDSy.

aidsblood: But I still make the films. I'mm no quitter.

bobmfk: now i see!!

aidsblood: See what?

bobmfk: you handle???

aidsblood: Oh, ya, Aidsblood. It's subtle but tells a little about who I am.

bobmfk: you must have one big pussy by now!!

aidsblood: Big like a garbage bag.

bobmfk: hell thats no fun ..they should be nice and tight

aidsblood: Thats why I said..

aidsblood: Lets make a new hole!

aidsblood: Get a box cutter!

bobmfk: then use your mouth

aidsblood: No, no, no. NEW hole, dummy!

aidsblood: I'm gonna let you fuck me anywhere on my body!

bobmfk: na theres only so much you can do!!

aidsblood: No, there's much more you can do! Now quit being a homo and get a box cutter!

bobmfk: what do you want me t do ..slice you butt open!!!!!!

aidsblood: You can put a hole ANYWHERE!

aidsblood: You can fuck me in the leg, the eye, anywhere.

bobmfk: hey this too wierd????

aidsblood: Anywhere except ass, pussy and the gape-mouth.

aidsblood: Weird? Are you a queer?

aidsblood: If you are it's no biggie.

aidsblood: Go ahead cut me.

aidsblood: I say we start with the back of my head.Punch a hole in my skull and fuck my brains out.

bobmfk: time to go chick!!!

bobmfk: bye

aidsblood: Wait!

aidsblood: I need you!

bobmfk: what?

aidsblood: I'm about to come!

aidsblood: My pussy is so wet, it's on fire!

bobmfk: then stick your hand in there and grab you clit

aidsblood: Wow, my clit is all swollen up. Like a cock.

bobmfk: and message the hell out of it!!!

aidsblood: I'm jacking it off!

bobmfk: good go to it

aidsblood: From the tip down to the balls.

aidsblood: Big hangy 34 year old ma-balls.

aidsblood: Mmmmm.

aidsblood: Suck my clit.

aidsblood: Pell back the foreskin and suck it.

aidsblood: peel*

bobmfk: i'd reach it grb it

aidsblood: eeeYello?

aidsblood: Grab my big, 9 inch clit, put the head in your mouth and suck it til I blow a big monster load of semen into your mouth.

aidsblood: All gunky and bleach smelling.

aidsblood: Mmmm


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