Clarence Got A Shotgun

Doug is "dirtybagina"

STT32: hey, a/s/l

dirtybagina: Its in my profile.

STT32: ok so what do u look like, gotta pic?

dirtybagina: I look like that one girl from Survivor only with colored hair.

dirtybagina: What do you look like?

STT32: damn that sounds real sexy

STT32: i'm 5'8, 160, short blonde hair, blue eyes, fit and very tan

dirtybagina: How old are you, cutie-pants?

STT32: 24, u?

dirtybagina: It's in my profile.

STT32: so what are u wearing?

dirtybagina: It's in my profile.

STT32: no its not

dirtybagina: Oh, sorry. I was gonna put it in there and forgot.

STT32: ha

STT32: so....

dirtybagina: I am wearing llama skin boots with head and wristbands like a 1970's basketball player.

STT32: haha, sounds good

dirtybagina: You?

STT32: just my boxers

STT32: what would u say if i started kissing ur neck real slow and massaging ur body all over

STT32: ?

dirtybagina: I would say "Clarence, there's a man here licking and kissing me and I have no idea who it is!"

dirtybagina: Then Clarence would shoot you in the knees.

STT32: u wouldnt like it?

STT32: then what do u want?

dirtybagina: Well, I just want to cyber.

STT32: then start

dirtybagina: You asked what I would do if you did that to me. And thats what I would do if a man I didnt know were to begin fondling me like that.

STT32: oh ok

STT32: i start sucking ur tits while my fingers crawl down ur stomach until they were playing with your clit all over

dirtybagina: Mmmm.

dirtybagina: "Clarence! There's a man playing with my clit and I dont even know him!"

dirtybagina: *Clarence runs in and shoots you in the knees*

STT32: i lick down u until my tongue is licking every wet spot off your clit

STT32: licking up and down my fingers move in and out of you

STT32: i thought u wanted to cyber?

dirtybagina: You might want to put on a rubber glove.

STT32: y is that?

dirtybagina: My vagina has had some problems lately.

STT32: so what are u gonna do to me?

dirtybagina: I will lay you on your back...

dirtybagina: and tie your hands to the bedposts.

dirtybagina: I will then waddle down the bed on my fists, swinging my thick torso between my arms.

dirtybagina: (I lost my legs at the hips from untreated syphillis)

dirtybagina: I pull myself up onto your unprotected cock.

dirtybagina: An ocean of infection spills from my gash and fills the air with pheremones.

dirtybagina: You are as hard as calculus.

dirtybagina: Hello?

STT32: yeah

STT32: keep going

STT32: that feels so good

dirtybagina: Ya, it'd be nice to know I'm not doing this for myself. Pipe up every now and again.

dirtybagina: Ok, I am up on my ape-like knuckles swing my mangled torso over your engorged cock.

dirtybagina: You plunge in and out of my rectgina.

dirtybagina: (The accident tore out my perenium and left me with just one hole)

STT32: i dont mind

dirtybagina: (Its ok cuz I shit in a bag anyway)

STT32: i grab on to your torso and slam you up and down on my huge cock

dirtybagina: I howl like a retarded child fighting for a candy cane.

dirtybagina: I cackle and several of my teeth fall out from neglect and the force of your enrty.

STT32: mmmm, i want u to suck me now

dirtybagina: You push my useless boddy of the bed and I fall like wet laundry to the hardwood floor.

dirtybagina: body*

dirtybagina: You grab me by my whispy, brittle hair and force my horse-mouth onto your manhood.

dirtybagina: My shards of broken, meth-wrecked dentrifice tear into your cock like daggers.

dirtybagina: My mouth stinks like the rot of a baby's corpse.

dirtybagina: Hello?

dirtybagina: You really suck at this. Are you sure you aren't gay?

dirtybagina: I'm not saying thats bad. It just seems like your a queer.

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