Another Friend Update

Stop the presses. Not long after Lee Stranahan became my new best friend with a payment of $28.95, Constantine Pateras showed me who really cares by sending me 50 dollars. I realized that I never really hit it off with Lee in the 12 hours of our friendship. I mean, we're still friends and all but not like I am with my newest best friend Constantine. Man, the times we're gonna have. Skipping stones, strangling call-girls, paint-balling call-girls, graduating high school, macing call-girls, holding each others hair while we pee, hording firewood and all. Chicks will come and go but your best friend will always be there until someone makes a better offer. The first in-studio taping of the Man Show is tomorrow, Saturday, May 10th. We'll be taping every other Saturday thru July 19th so if you're in Los Angeles and want to come to the show, Man Show Tickets. I'm so giddy I could almost throw up blood. Top of Form Bottom of Form [ New best friend must outbid $50.00. ] Update: Fri, 09 May 2003 11:21:46 Phil the Stalker sent in $29.95 a bit too late to ever have commanded best friend status, as he was unknowingly beat out by my best friend Constantine's whopping 50 dollars. Phil is an actual stalker of my co-host Joe Rogan and, once again, I have to take his sloppy seconds. But a deal is a deal so welcome my second best friend, Phil the Stalker.

Current Best Friend Constantine Pateras Phil the Stalker Lee Stranahan Ameen Behlbari

Best Friend update

lee stranahan from lustneversleeps.com is my new best friend with a bid of 28.95.

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[ New best friend must outbid $28.95. ]

Now my wife will probably fuck him and leave me without beer money. What an asshole.

For The New Guys

Since a lot of you are new to this site because of the Man Show - and since I have nothing good to update you on since I've been doing nothing but working on the Man Show, here's what to do.

Buy my fucking CD's.

Sign the mailing list so I can let you know when I'll be playing near you.

Read the archives, prank letters and the baiting stuff. Catch up with everyone else.

Then go to the message board and be a dick.

Scroll down for the latest audio clips. Ignore the horrible old naked woman. I know it tends to queer people away.

Or, if nothing else, you can buy my friendship via Paypal.

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Right now it only costs 27 dollars to be my best friend, although any amount will qualify you as my friend. Ameen Behlbari (or some such ridiculous name that I cant remember) is my worst friend with an amount less than a dollar, but he is now a friend none the less.

Best friend perks include a phone call if you inform me a close relative has died (must have proof, limit one family member) and a postcard from somewhere that I'm having more fun than you. Also, you will be required to put me up if I'm ever in your shitty town. Your best friend status can be revoked by a higher bid at anytime.

In the meantime, I will be in my office, trying to score free shit from companies that want me to use their shit on my show. A bunch of Converse All-Stars are on the way as I wait for word back from Phillip Morris and Miller Lite.

I'll have to wait for the show to air before I can begin work on "Celebrity Gloryhole" but I'm cashing in where I can.

Honey's birthday is Next Thursday, May 15th so send gifts to her - (sign my name on the card)

                                   Doug Stanhope's Wife

                                    363 1/2  Rose  Ave

                                   Venice, CA   90291

If I can think of anything else you can do for me or give me or score for me, I'll let you know. Or if you have any ideas of things you can give me, send them in along with the 4 dollar service charge for considering your idea.

                                                                                                    ~stanhope, not selling out.