Pet Names

*NOTE: DOUG'S POSTS ARE THE ONES IN RED

May 30, 05:44 PM

Pet Names

I'm a first-timer here although I'm no stranger to the topic. My girlfriend/ fiance (depending on the day! you know how it is) is about 385 pounds, down from 440 a year ago. I've always been comfortable with her weight because it's the person inside that counts to me and I've always said "Big is beautiful!" The great thing about my girlfriend is her sense of humor about her weight. At home I pick on her about it in a fun way and she always laughs and makes jokes back. I'll say " hey you fat slob, get me my shoes!" and she'll come back with "Get off your skinny ass and get them yourself!". We have that kind of relationship. Or so I thought. This weekend we were out with some of her old friends from high school at a bar-b-que and I guess she was a little uptight having ballooned up so much since high school and maybe I'd had a little too much beer and wasn't thinking but at one point I hollered across the backyard, in our usual joking manner, " Hey you humungeous fat pig, spit out the pork rib, get your sloppy fat ass over here and get me a beer!" Everyone stopped and stared like I was some jerk. I waited for her to tell them that these are just running jokes but instead she ran out crying. I didn't mean to hurt her. Should I save these things for only when we're amongst friends or kybosh them all together? Thanks, Jim

May 30, 08:26 PM

Re: Pet Names

Jim, the person you should be asking this questino is your lady. *After* making it clear up front that you want her honest answer and will respect it. Lee

-- Lee Martindale "Working To Change The Way Society Treats Fat People"

May 30, 07:27 PM

Re: Pet Names

Easier said than done. She says one thing and the next day goes another. I guess this is common amongst the fatties having so much negativity thrown at them they don't know when someone who loves them is trying to be playful or if someone is mocking them because of their size. I try to understand her. She is the one who makes most of the jokes at her own expense. I say one thing at the wrong time and I'm the jerk? How am I supposed to know when she's sensitive? One day it's all in good fun to call her a digusting cow and the next day I end up looking bad after all I've done for her. I would never say something like that to oversized people I don't know. I would never come in here calling you people gross fat sows but I'm sure you've all been in relationships where that is normal, if done with humor. How is it I'm the only guy who'd even consider having sex with something like that yet I'm the bad guy? Jim, trying his best to understand the opposite sex. (like I always say, you can't live with 'em and you can't leave alone with your pizza!)

May 30, 08:39 PM

Re: Pet Names

Just saw this post. Oy. Even I, the virgin cyclops, know enough about women to see what you did wrong. Between the two of you, it's just jokes. Now, I'd ask her to make sure that when it's just the two it's just jokes, but it could be. But in front of her friends, you don't DO that. And it's not just because she's fat. If your pet name was "old hag" or "old frump" or whatever, and you used in it public, it's not going to be taken. With the great shame that is dumped on fat people (particularly fat women), fat pig among old friends she may have been trying to impress would have a particularly big impact, but any unflatering pet name is a bad idea to take public. So take your hat in your hand, apologize, admit you were dumb (that's one excuse women will always believe), and promise it won't happen again. Donald

-- Donald Brown

May 30, 09:16 PM

Re: Pet Names

Thanks. I have apologized and she tells me that I don't really love her, that I'm only around because she all pays the bills, and that I only have sex with her out of guilt. I have to admit that that is partially true. I love her for who she is, no question. She is a wonderful person with more heart than any ten people I've ever met. I'd go to my grave defending her. But the sex is... difficult. I mean, she's 385 pounds, for Pete sake! You look down there and it's all unkempt with boils and ingrown hairs, heat rash and a stink that'd make a blind man scream armegeddon! Big is beautiful but it smells godawful and looks like a birds nest full of raw meat and bacon grease. Sure she pays the bills and treats me like a king so every couple of months I get soused and try to pork her as quickly as possible. Out of respect for the person she is on the inside, not for some phoney physical reasons. And with all that, I still get snapped at for calling her a big fat ugly tub of shit in front of some old high school cheerleader friends who liked to make fun of her back in the old days? I think it's time someone apologized to me. Jim

-- I was promptly ignored after this post.