Hello Children!

Welcome to Holiday Season! You're old friend MR Doug is taking a thiiiiiiiiiirty day sobriety break!!! That means he won't be funny again until Christmas Day! Sure, he may update but you'll be able to smell his desperation in between the lines, every word dotted with his need for a cigarette and a beer. Oh well! Countdown to a beer and a smoke! 0 days 0 hours 0 minutes and 0 seconds

So, in the meantime, Mr Doug has a Big Christmas Merch Special! Here's what you get!

CDS - Sicko Something To Take The Edge Off Die Laughing DVDs - Word of Mouth Deadbeat Hero (with bonus audio CD) AND 2 BOOTLEGS!

Full-length audio CD of the XM Show from March, 2005
Full-length DVD of "The Incident in Austin" - the near riot when a certain radio host introduced me and all fuck broke loose.

All this for 69 bucks plus 6 bucks shipping! Order right fucking now!

And if you're on Myspace - send Doug word that you bought the Xmas package and he'll include an added gift just for you! Perhaps something valuable or something that has been in his fanny!

In the meantime, hold tight kids and maybe Mr Doug will make it three more weeks til Christmas without any random loss of life, be it his own or the countless others who have it coming! No condiments but for salt. That's cruel. Most food is just a conduit for the condiment that suits it and is worthless by itself. The potato would be as popular as a rice cake if you had to eat it unmolested.