Girls Gone Wild

The Girls Gone Wild shooting wrapped up this week and it should be out next month. I only wish that those Man Show protesters from Madison had spent one night on the GGW bus to put things in perspective. Man, too bad I didn't get these gigs when I was younger and could appreciate them, back when hot, drunk, dumb and giggling 19 year olds could be anything more than a horrible annoyance.

So rather than waste the whole experience on my bitterness, we figured we'd share the wealth. We had to get pick up shots at the Van Nuys airport of me getting out of GGW owner Joe Francis' Ferrari and onto his private jet before taking off for Texas to film.

We'd had an idea at the Man Show for a gag called Employee of the Month, where we would hijack some guy out of a shitty day job and take him out for 24 hours of hot chicks and non-stop 5 star, velvet rope partying before dropping him right back off at his job in time for his next shift. Only we didn't have the budget.

Now we realized - with six hours to put it together - that we had everything at our disposal to make the gag work except a mark.

After clearing it with GGW, Tommy Gianis, head writer for TMS, took off to Van Nuys and scoured the area for some shithole workplace and came up with a manager willing to let us spring one of his workers.

Juan, 23, is an illegal - or semi-legal - from Guatamala who works afternoons at Box City, where he humps and stacks bundles of corregated boxes. He came here 7 years ago, walking and hitchhiking across Mexico for a month and a half to get here, and now works mornings at a donut shop and afternoon/evenings at the fabulous Box City. At 4 o'clock Rogan and I pulled up to the bay door in the Ferrari, told him he was Employee of the Month, hustled him into the car to the runway, put him on the jet, filled his Champagne glass and by midnite he was on stage in Texas, shoulder deep in titties as both TMS and GGW cameras rolled.

He didn't care if the girls were drunk and annoying. He probably didn't even care if they were really girls. He was happy and I was happy for him.

Juan was flown back to Van Nuys the next morning and dropped off right back at Box City. Gianis was with him, still filming, as Juan walked in and within minutes was back humping stacks of corregated boxes.

Still in the uniform he'd left in. Oddly enough, the only thing he'd brought on the plane - in his pocket - was

heh heh

a boxcutter.