Welcome, New Fans

If you're just getting here because of the Man Show, you're fucking late. Here's what you do to catch up. First, buy my CD's. It's far harder than Ass Crack Game Show humor, so make sure your mom doesn't find out. Then, go to www.freestateproject.org. There isn't anything funny there but it could be the most important and actually do-able movement that could actually change all of our lives and get you involved in something more than watching cable television. There will be plenty of time for jacking off to Juggies when the work is done. Next, go to www.disinfo.com and buy "You Are Being Lied To" by Russ Kick. You will never be the same and you'll know why you signed up for the Free State Project. This is a recently revamped site and all the shit isn't up yet. In the meanwhile, you can go to the old site through the archives. Or better yet, go outside and do something. Fuck somebody. Get a dog. Do mushrooms. Stun-gun your neighbor.

The first few episodes of The Man Show are going to be the weak shit, so live with it. There'll be weak shit periodically throughout, don't get me wrong, but they front-loaded the beginning of the season with the most mediocre stuff, thinking that the hardcore Jimmy 'n Adam audience is too fucking dumb to handle the stuff we like. Maybe they are. The first time we said the word "abortion" you could hear the crowd's ass-pussies lock up like an emergency brake. Same with bashing religion, or much of anything that didn't involve jacking off or shitting your pants.

For those who know me and Rogan, there's better coming later.

Regardless, it's still television and at the end of the day, you'll never hear what we do through that medium. Anything that is even moderately funny in our voice gets so finger-fucked by lawyers, censors, producers and the network that you're lucky if you even have the same premise at the end, much less the same jokes.

People keep congratulating me and saying "It's about time", as though this is better than what I was doing. It isn't. The only true freedom of speech anymore is stand-up and anything else I do is just to promote it.

I'm on the road straight until December at this point and will be putting up more stuff (including Lansing) for January soon. Make sure to check the schedule page and sign the mailing list so I can let you know when I'll be in your area.

And if you want to send the stray "Bring Back Jimmy and Adam, You Suck!" email, feel free. My email is on the contact page. But remember, there's a reason they wouldn't do that show anymore and it could be that they hated your guts. Maybe they couldn't stand the thought of being out to dinner one more time, lifting their glass of wine to some beautiful woman across the table only to have some date-raping, frat donkey scream from across the room, "Ziggy-Socky, Ziggy-Socky, Hoi Hoi Hoi!" and then laugh hog-like, thinking he was really original. Kill yourself. This entire season was done - overtly or otherwise - in mockery of you and I already cashed the check.

Everyone else, enjoy. We'll be full of mushrooms for the premiere, driving the green Dodge Aspen around with our favorite Man Show She-Male, Gia.

stanhope