Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's day and I am in love. That Renee finally caved in after all these months and years of chasing her and it's about good Goddamned time. It's also nice to finally have a girlfriend that's not "good for me". I always get the "she's really good for you" girlfriends, which means they give you tons of shit for all your vices and dubious side work. This girl is horrible for me in all the right ways and will go down with me in flames when I go. There's a big difference between someone who accepts you for who you are and someone who actually understands who you are. This girl has all my demons and I am happy as pinworms in a black baby's stool.

The new CD should be ready on February 25th in time for Aspen and I think it might suck. I always hate my CD's and now I already hate this one. Who fucking knows. If you think it sucks I'll dump off the first run of 1,000 as a "collectors item" and record again in May with all the new fun war shit that was just getting going when I did the CD in October. Problem is finding 1,000 people who are into my shit. Hard to sell cd's to walkouts without putting the stage in front of the door.

Again, for you cheap fucks with lots of time - download my shit off Audio Galaxy. I recommended morpheus before but evidently it's not as good at finding my shit as it is great for porn.

In the upcoming Aspen Comedy Festival, I will be doing a show "Regarding 9-11" where the question of how 9-11 has effected comedy or the recurring "When will it be ok to do comedy again?" question will be widely discussed.

I put quite a bit of thought into that question. When will it be ok to do comedy again? The best answer I could come up with was this.

June 8th.

That's when it will be ok.

Considering in the five months since the attack, the death toll has fallen from 6,700 consistently down to now 2,800. I figure at that rate on or around June 8th no one will be dead anymore.

Then, let the jokes begin.

Even today when you consider the drop - 6,700 down to 2,800 - that's a difference of 3,900 people that are now undead. We have gained 1,100 more people than we lost. And they need jokes.

Why do death tolls always start high and go lower? Because the media is a pessimist? No, because death, if it doesn't directly effect you, is entertainment. The more dead, the more entertaining, the more papers it sells. No one rubbernecks at a car wreck to make sure everyone's 'ok'.

They even add death tolls where there aren't any. They'll say so many people died from a blizzard when they collapsed of a heart attack while shovelling snow. They didn't die from the blizzard, they died from cheese.

I remember the Olympic bombing in Atlanta where they claimed two people died when one of those people was a cameraman whose heart blew out while he was running toward the blast to exploit the person who actually died from the bomb.

And if people aren't directly effected they will always try to attach themselves to the tragedy. Everyone playing Six Degrees of Separation from 9-11.

"My sister's ex-fiance went to school with a guy who almost took a job at the World Trade Center and he could have been in there so that's not funny."

It's ok to do comedy now and it's been ok and comedy has actually occured all over the place - in barrooms and at kitchen tables and in break rooms and all over behind the backs of the people who are truely affected or would just get cunty about it. Just because it doesn't fall into a network slot between Friends and Leno doesn't mean it ain't comedy. It's ok for Leno to do comedy again when the Geico gecco tells him it is.

If you're gonna be in Vegas in March come to my birthday show - Tuesday, March 26th at 8pm until we all fall down at Tommy Rocker's.