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Trolling

For every interest someone can have, there is a newsgroup on the internet where you can discuss it with others. For every newsgroup that exists there is someone ready to “troll” it, ie; go in and start shit one way or another. There are people who do nothing but troll newsgroups, people who are really good at it. I don’t claim to be one of them but I did manage to have some fun stirring up shit. Take a look. You have to read through a bit of the opening dialogue to get to the good stuff because, unlike the letters, trolling takes time to set up to make it seem like you are legitimate. But it’s worth it.

Sunday
Mar212010

Death Metal

*NOTE: DOUG'S POSTS ARE THE ONES IN RED

 

May 30, 07:46 PM

God says "Turn it Down!"

My son Jared was once one of you lonely kids who fell into the grips of Satan through Heavy Death music like you displaced youth seem to be so fond of. He liked to think the he was Joe Cool listening to bands like Loverboy and AC/DC and he kept getting more and more isolated until last year, at only 27 years of age he took his own life. I wished I could have done something. I wish I knew what caused him such pain other than the absence of the Lord in his life. When his mother and I went through his belongings we found out the cause. Stacks of devil music all over his room. Just like you listen to. Just because we're parents doen't mean we're old fuddie-duddies who can't see the big picture. We've seen it with our own eyes through the loss of a good boy. We know their names. He had them all. The Zombies, The Turtles, Eddie Money, Foriegner. Just like you kids. Thinking that the Death Rock makes you cool. Well it also kills. Take it from us. The only music you need comes from that sweet little lady behind the organ Sunday morning at your church. Go back and see her sometime and you'll see God never went away, you just couldn't hear him with the Devil playing so loud.

God Bless you all, Jim and Rosemary Kellem.

 

May 30, 11:18 PM

Re: God says "Turn it Down!"

DUDE! FUCK YOU AND YOUR BULLSHIT! WE DON'T NEED BULLSHIT! YOU'RE SON ROCKED AND HE IS DEAD! YOU SUCK AND YOU LIVE! THAT'S BULLSHIT!!!!

 

May 31, 07:44 AM

Re: God says "Turn it Down!"

God takes it in the ass like the bug-eyed interbred trailer trash he is. Only the stuff in digipacks is Satanic. Let's gang rape the virgin whore!

 

May 31, 09:02 AM

Re: God says "Turn it Down!"

Okay - I need a helping hand. I've got this massive hard-on and need a few extra fingers to choke this chicken. You game? Fucking xians... can't stand the thought of anyone anywhere in the world having fun.

 

May 31, 09:56 AM

Re: God says "Turn it Down!"

If you are serious that you need a helping hand, well, we are here to show you the way to Jesus. If you are embarrassed about this in front of your friends, you can email us and we can talk privately. It seems like you probably get a lot of razzing around here as it is. If you'd do us the courtesy of holding back the course language we'd appreciate it. We know you feel like you are with people who care about you but you haven't felt the love of God so you don't know how empty you really are. If you think your "Ice Tea" rocks wait til you come to Jesus' party! Please email us and we will get you on the path. Jim and Rosemary Kellem.

 

May 31, 12:41 PM

Re: God says "Turn it Down!"

Everybody's working for the weekend!!!" Hails to Loverboy, the gayest fucking band ever. I nominate this post for Troll of the year. Simply hilarious!

 

May 31, 01:01 PM

Re: God says "Turn it Down!"

I know a lot of you will mock what you don't understand but let us tell you we have already gotten two emails from kids like yourselves who are sad disillusioned and desperately seeking help like our son must have been. One email (Don't worry, I won't say your name) was from young man(?) who said that the constant replaying of the Satan Rock band Matchbox 20 had him on the verge of hurting other people or himself. We directed him to a Parish in his neck of the woods where someone could show him another way. We wish our son had listened to the words of the Bible rather than the Heavy Death lyrics of Europe or Styx. He may have still been with us. We're still here for all of you. Jim and Rosemary Kellem.

 

May 31, 01:27 PM

Re: God says "Turn it Down!"

I SAID FUCK YOU AND I MENT IT! I HOPE YOU AND YOUR UGLY WIFE GET FISTFUCKED BY THE DRUMMER IN DEF LEPPARD!

 

Jun 01, 08:22 AM

Re: God says "Turn it Down!"

I sympathise with the loss of your child, but if you think your son's death was solely based on his musical tastes, I assure you - you're very much deluded. Perhaps if you had gotten him some professional help while he was just (as you have said) "a lonely kid," maybe it wouldn't come to this. Kids will always do things that their parents don't approve of. Scapegoating them when a tragedy occurs is ony a superficial way some parents try to keep the blame away from those who really deserve to be blamed - themselves. Shrouding your child in religion and keeping him away from the trials of life is no panacea for the problems he might have encountered. Worse yet, such isolation would have only made him more vulnerable. Perhaps you ought to reconsider what kind of a parents you were to your child before he took his life, maybe then you'll realise that the problem was considerably deeper than your son's fancy for a certain type of music.

 

Jun 01, 11:24 AM

Re: God says "Turn it Down!"

Ok lady, first off... the bands your son listened to were GAY AS HELL. And the music we all listen to is much more than that! If you're son killed himself it was because he was a pussy and couldn't handle the fake stuff. Imagine if he had listened to the real shit! Then you'd have a real mess on your hands! Haha! The point is, the music didn't force him to commit suicide, it was probably his drug use, bad parenting, and his taking advantage of prostitutes. Haha, leave it alone, you're son was weak. Now, to be serious... if your kid wants to listen to "Devil Music", let him. Don't interfere. Let your children think for themselves. If you truly loved him you wouldn't try to make an example of him either. And greatest of all, YOU FUCKING XTIANS STOP PRESSING YOUR BELIEFS ON US! YOU CANT CHANGE SHIT! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOUR GOD! SHIT IN THE MOUTH OF CHRIST!

 

Jun 01, 03:54 PM

Re: God says "Turn it Down!"

You are a fucking idiot. Please don't label stuff as "death metal" unless you know what death metal is. Please kill yourself now and do the world a favour. I know you're merely a "troll" trying to get a reaction out of newsgroups, so please, GET A FUCKING LIFE. As if your fucking "son" killed himself. You probably don't even HAVE a son. You're such a fucking liar and you're so full of bullshit its rediculous. Fuck, I can't believe how many fucking idiots fester the internet, but you're a shining example of one. Just die. I hate you - you fucking cunt. You make me sick. You fucking subhuman brainwashed sheep. You're nothing but a fucking pile of scumsucking shit. You deserve to die. Man, if I saw you right here, right now, I'd do everything in my power to make sure your worthless fucking live was cessated. I hate you, I hate your fucking kind, and I hope you and your asslicking brethren fucking DIED!!! Oh yeah, HAIL SATAN AND FUCK YOUR FALSE GOD!!!

 

Jun 01, 11:53 PM

Re: God says "Turn it Down!"

Yeah, that's really sweet and sentimental and stuff. But, what about the OTHER millions and millions of kids who listen to heavy metal and DON'T kill themselves? Did you ever think in your clouded mind (oh yes, religion is nothing but a big cloud blocking you from reality) that maybe your kid was just a few sodas short of a case? A littly batty? Or perhaps maybe the truth is that parents brainwahsed by religon (I'm not talking about God, who has nothing to do with that worldy invention called religion) try too hard to brainwash their children into their beliefs thus causing the child to rebel in any way they can. Hey, I'm living proof. I was raised in a religious home. Having it shoved down my throat for so many years caused me to rebel and listen the 'devil' music (I still laugh every time I hear that) and do all sorts of drugs and illegal stuff. However, I never ONCE thought about killing myself. I have my problems like anyone else and being the smart person I am, I decided to get some help for my problems like any rational person should. Your son might have benefited from such help. I believe in God and do have a relationship with my creator. However, I don't feel the need to judge anyone else or condemn them for their musical tastes. PS - In the bible it says that all things that aren't for God are against God, therefore making ANY music that isn't for God, devil music. So any way you slice it from Lawrence Welk to Slayer to Britney Spears. It's all devils music according to the bible. Something to think about.

 

Jun 04, 01:12 PM

Re: God says "Turn it Down!"

AC/DC makes you want to party and pick up some chicks, stop trying to blame to music or any external sources for the suicide of your son (assuming you're not a troll). Maybe he had problems, he was depressed... You should have tried to listen to him and find out what was wrong, not go in his room after he's dead and blame music or tv or frozen fishsticks... Mike

 

Jun 05, 08:28 AM

Re: God says "Turn it Down!"

GOOD LORD!!!! This guy is 27 and living at home as a recluse? You went in his "ROOM"(!!!!!!) after his death? That is when you found out what was in it? Do not blame the death on the music. This guy had some very major problems that are not being mentioned. Have you heard of rehab? How about putting him in a christian ministry that clothes, shelters, and teaches? Like for the homeless. I know of three in tampa that totaly support you and all you have to do is go to church and do what ever odd jobs they want you to do. One even gives you $20 a week to spend because they do not want you to work. One lets you work and supplies everything you need to live for free. Two are accredited ministorial schools. Face it he did not have a life to loose because he never had one. You should have kicked him out of the house and done him a favor. At a minimum you should have taken him to the local mental health hospital and checked him in. This is the kind of person they are for.

 

Jun 12, 09:34 PM

Re: God says "Turn it Down!"

Just a note to say that this weekend's 3rd Annual Jump With Jesus Jamboree was the most successful ever! We had a record 61 youth who, like yourselves, were straying down the wrong path to bondage and Satan. Although I am truely sorry that the few of you who emailed were unable to attend due to distance/short notice, I'm pleased that we could these kids/young adults that Jesus can party too! I'm also pleased as punch that this discussion has obviously got a few of you thinking about the future and the afterlife. I'll be honest and say that I was hurt at some of the crude remarks made at my sons expense and I'm glad I saw them and not my beautiful wife. I realize it comes from your own anger and disillusionment, your distance from any spiritual grounding but it upsets her very deeply still. You can make all the barbs you want to me but please leave my dear son out of it. He was a good boy and you all probably would have liked him quite a bit. While I agree with you that a lot of that Death Metal he listened to was directly responsible from his homosexual liasons and his HIV diagnosis that lead to his eventual suicide, we don't think that any of you are far from the same tragic end. This Heavy Death Music is called that for a reason. We have studied the lyrics and know, as documented scientific fact, that repetitive barraging the psyche and the spiritual self with this filth and blasphemy leads directly to violence, drug and alcohol abuse, homosexual encounters that spread AIDS and other plagues of God's hand, and evetually, death. If we can stop one of you from trudging down the same road to Satan. Unlike your INXS, not "Every single one of has the Devil inside". (in case you thought we didn't know what we were talking about. God Bless you all and we hope to see you at the next Jamboree. Jim and Rosemary Kellem

 

Sunday
Mar212010

Agorophobia: Fear of Leaving The House

*NOTE: DOUG'S POSTS ARE THE ONES IN RED

Jul 13, 12:15 AM

Just Out Of Reach... Help!

I didn't think I'd ever actually post here as much as I lurk but now I need help. My brother Geoff dropped by today (as he always does when he needs something) and asked me if I could watch his baby boy for a spell while he went to court. Of course I said that i would. I'm mean, where am I going? So he's not gone half an hour when I turn my back and Terrence, my 11 month old nephew scoots out the doggie-door! Fucked if I'm going out to get him. He doddled just outside the door a bit so I tried snaring him with an unbent coat hanger, nothing doing. Now he starts going for the grassy area between the street and the sidewalk which is lousy with dog poop (or was last time I was out there, November, 1994). I was in a shear panic. I went into the basement and found Dad's old fly fishing rig and spent almost an hour trying to hook him from the window that opens onto the porch roof but, on the two times I hit him, the hook didn't even break skin. I went to look for a bigger hook but then my soaps started. My brother called to say he'd be a little late so I told him Terry was fine and asked him to let me keep him overnight. He'd go sweet-jiminy-bonkers over this. He already thinks my condition is a joke. My question is, Are any of you near Fairfax and Sunset in Los Angeles. If you could come grab him and push him back through the doggie door I'd be happy to pay you. He's been crawling in and out of traffic for hours and it's making my blood pressure shoot through the roof.

Thanks,

Khrystyne

 

Jul 13, 03:21 PM

Re: Just Out Of Reach... Help!

Just after I posted this, my sweet little nephew was mauled by pit bulls. I was watching him crying in the dog poop for over an hour (no cable and nothing good late night on network) and at one point he came almost close enough that I could reach him without crossing the doorjamb. Maybe I frightened him away with the snare on the mop handle because he retreated back towards the street and within seconds was enveloped by a pack of dogs. They tore away most of his limbs but left him alive and shrieking so loud I had to put on my ABBA cd to try and sleep. I got up this morning when the trashman came and looked out just in time to see him slowly back over Terry's head. He was probably dead at that point anyway, but still it makes me sad about my condition. Can anyone bring me a salad? K

 

Jul 13, 04:26 PM

Re: Just Out Of Reach... Help!

You are sick!!!!! Get help!!!

 

Jul 13, 04:34 PM

Re: Just Out Of Reach... Help!

No, I just enjoy salad. K

 

Jul 14, 04:33 AM

Re: Just Out Of Reach... Help!

Thank you for sharing and there is no doubt you need help but I think your particular problem is beyond the scope of this group. May I suggest a good psychiatrist or perhaps just growing up may help ( dose your mum and dad know you are using there PC ? ) I am sure it's past your bed time. No regular members of this group will respond to any more of your post so if I was you I would go away and play on your own, in your own little world. We are just not interested. Chris

 

Jul 14, 09:07 PM

Re: Just Out Of Reach... Help!

Whoever left the salad just out of reach of the doggie door is a sick, sick, person. Luv, K

 



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