Attention Tucson, and other Arizonan, comedians...
Friday, November 16, 2012 at 9:15AM
Doug Stanhope

 

 

As usual, I will close out the year at the Rialto, Saturday Dec 1st.

This year's Tucson show will be proudly home to "The Funniest Person in Arizona Comedy Competition."

And unlike all other comedy contests, we tell you upfront - "It's a Scam!" That's why there is no need for it to continue for weeks of preliminaries, semi-finals and finals. It's just one night!

Not only just one night, but just one minute!

That's right! You will only get to do one minute of material!

But, you ask, how can they judge us on one solitary minute of comedy?

Because like all competitions, It's Completely Unfair!

So unfair, in fact, that you will not even know that categories on which you're being judged, none of which will be comedy related.  Originality? Who cares? Stage Presence? Not an issue. Crowd Response? Wasn't listening!

The only thing I will promise you is this contest is NOT rigged, that the winner is NOT pre-determined. The winner will be decided by a panel of completely unqualified judges using a scorecard of random, superfluous criteria.

The winner will have the title of "The 2012 Funniest Person in Arizona" and will be opening for me for shit money immediately upon being crowned.

And the rub is, the losing comics will probably still cry that it was unfair!

But that won't matter to you because your career will be rocketing skyward and you will never look back!

To enter email a link of your stand-up that I will watch no more than a random 10 seconds of before making a decision. If you don't have a clip online, you can just send me an email telling me how funny you are, that you have a shitload of friends that will be buying tickets or other subtle forms of bribery, chicanery, hi-jinx or bamboozlery.

We will choose 10 comics to compete and will let you know by Wednesday, November 28th.

Email doug@dougstanhope.com

Article originally appeared on Doug Stanhope (http://doug-stanhope.squarespace.com/).
See website for complete article licensing information.