Lately...
Friday, October 30, 2009 at 3:34PM
Doug Stanhope

...I have had people call me a fag on Myspace for having a Twitter account and calling me a fag on Facebook for being on Myspace. Nobody calls me anything on Twitter because I don't read anything there.

Louis CK recently dumped both Myspace and Facebook and I have never envied any comedian more than when I read that. I only keep up with them to keep people informed on when I'm coming to town and to put out whatever Ambien-induced nonsense that I think the world can't live without hearing at 3am.

Ultimately, I just want people to come here for updates and simply get on the mailing list for show updates. It'd make life a lot easier but until I'm pretty confident that I have enough access to my audience here, I'll be doing up-keep on all those other dildo sites, none any more or less silly than another.

 

But I am about finished learning any new sites or any new technology at all for that matter. I am a complete techno-retard and anything I do learn only seems to irritate me for the rest of my days.

For the most part I only text in emergency or yes/no situations.

I have never in my life sent a fax.

If I ever had to photocopy something, I went to where there was someone else I could have do it for me.

I have a Bose sound system for my television. It only gets used if someone is over who knows how to get it to work. I believe there is a button somewhere that I can't seem to find without assistance.

I am my grandmother who couldn't figure out voicemail. I am every hackneyed old comic who talks about these kids and their gadgets today. Take your apps and iPhones and leave me sitting here with my thumb stuck in my oldy-fashioned vibrating latex anus.


I'll be a Comix in NYC this Thursday, Friday and Saturday, Nov 5-7. After the Thursday show they'll be having some shrink psycho-analyze me on stage. Gimmicky - yes But it still sounds like it could be really entertaining. Spread the word around, New York.

 

Flying in Finland during the European run we noticed that our airplane had no row 13. So I started doing a bit about it that I did for the rest of the tour, only to find out that my opening act (Dag Soras) in Norway the week before Finland had the exact same that he'd been doing for years.

Obviously I dumped it immediately and just putting it out there for the record that he in no way took that from me. If anything, it would appear that I stole it from him. Thankfully he was doing his act entirely in Norwegian so nobody is pointing fingers.


 

There were a lot of comics I met over there in Sweden, Norway and Finland and I just wanted to say thanks for the hospitality. I wish I could have hung out more. Keep it weird and keep having fun with it. It's fantastic to see stand-up growing from the ground up as an art-form like it is over there. I'll see you again soon.

~Stanhope


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