My psuedo-sincere apologies to all 9 of you who showed up for the LA show and were left hanging. The shoot we were on went long and I couldn't get to the gig. Thanks for the hate mail from Cory Symington who drove down from Santa Barbara with mushrooms. The next time I'm in Santa Barbara I will come by and be your human toilet.

With the exception of the Shelton, WA gig this Saturday, I won't bother trying to do gigs until this thing is over in July. There's just too much fucking work. There's been streches where I havent left the lot for five or six days.

Andy Andrist is now on board as a writer and we've reeked havoc on the lot. The company lawyer just left our office - complete with fridge, heavy bag, clothesline, cot, tv, radio and all the other comforts of home (porn) - and told us it would be a violation of the lease for us to be living here. I dont know what would give him the idea that we were living in the office but I will now have my own attorney look at laws regarding homesteading. Perhaps we could claim to be narcoleptics and therefore our sleeping in the office could be viewed as a disability. Then the MASH-style hammocks we plan on installing would have a medical need.

9 shows in the can with 11 more to shoot before mid-July. If you're in town, come to a taping. The link is on here somewhere. I swear I'll show up for these.

A frantic last-minute conversation backstage as we were about to start a show.

[ Intro music is playing ]

Stage Manager
"Standards and practices nixed the joke about the Crank Yankers puppet having brain cancer. They said to say tuberculosis."

Joe Rogan
"That's fucking stupid. Let's just say herpes."

Stage Manager (franctic into headset)
"They want to say herpes." (pause - then to us) "No on herpes. They still say tuberculosis."

Doug
"Why not ebola?"

Joe
"Or SARS?"

Writer
"They already said no to SARS in another bit."

Doug
"Toxic Shock Syndrome?"

Joe
"Too dated. Try gonorrhea."

Stage Manager (into headset)
"They want to use gonorrhea." (pause and then to us) "OK, it's a go on gonorrhea. And... go!"

[ Cue to stage ]

It's this ridiculous every day.                 

~doug